Ever feel like just completely starting over?
I think I'm going through something like that right now. I actually tend to do this when I start getting in shape again. Once I start improving physically, it makes me want to improve on all the other areas of my life.
When Brad went on his mission, I was already really skinny (oh to be 20 again), but the combination of me being miserably alone at uncg, then having to say goodbye to Brad for 2 years left me without an appetite.
When I came home from school (for good), I realized Brad wasn't coming back... at least not for awhile. So I would take this time to do whatever I could to make myself feel better. I wonder if it's related to that feeling of having to control something? You know, when you can't control what's going on around you, you find something that you can control. I started working out all of the time. It was my hobby. I spent tons of time with my family. I got involved at church (which introduced me to Jess) and decided to let God take the reigns for awhile. I figured he could do a much better job arranging my life and priorities than I ever could.
Anyways, as miserable as I was, I look back now on that time as one of the best times of my life. I was in the best shape, I was totally reliant on God, and I was learning to be more independent.
Ok, I got a little off track there...
So although I'm not miserable right now (far from it), I am pretty fed up with not being able to fit into my favorite jeans yet.
The P90x journey has been a tad frustrating for me. I think I started it like 2 months ago, maybe? Well, since first getting it, I think I've had to restart it 3 times already. I would be faithful for at least a week. Then that "rest day" would come... followed by a weekend or holiday. I would put off the workout to hang out with Brad and Noah. I was also being way too strict on myself, diet wise. I refused to eat anything bad, including my beloved chocolate. This was just a recipe for disaster. My body got mad at me. So once I had a Hershey kiss... yeah, it didn't stop at one. I would then feel disgusted and upset and frustrated. And quit.
Not this time, though! I started it again last week, and I'm officially well into my second week. I haven't dropped the last 10 lbs yet, but I'm definitely seeing changes. I have muscle. Brad was totally impressed when I showed him my arms the other day.
And all the moms out there will appreciate this one... I have abs!!
I still have some "softness" to get rid of, but at least I feel like I'm accomplishing something. I feel great, so I guess that's the important thing. I allow myself to have my chocolate (got a bag of chocolate chips... it takes 33 of those things to equal 4 grams of fat... I can handle that).
Like I said, once I start getting into shape, I start improving on other areas.
I've been wanting to serve at church for a very long time, but there was always something in the way. Either my job or the time or being pregnant or having a baby. I decided I needed to find something that would fit my personality but also not take away from my time with Noah. I asked myself, what do I like to do and never get tired of? The answer: baking and cooking. The problem with this is that Brad doesn't eat much. He also isn't a sweet eater, so if I bake, someone (*sigh* me) has to eat it. I'm sorry, but I can't let a perfectly good batch of brownies go to waste. It's just not right.
And there was my niche. I've officially signed up for Meals for Members. I also will be baking treats to give away on the National Day of Prayer (next Thursday). They're making Blessing Baskets to give to community leaders (firefighters, police officers, etc) to thank them. And fyi, I promise I'm not sharing this info to get a pat on the back from yall... I'm just excited. :)
I'm also in the process of mending some relationships (I hope). I don't have very many to mend (maybe 2 in all), but I just need that "all is right with the world now" feeling I guess.
So in the spirit of self-improvement, I'm going through a blog makeover. I'm still kind of background shopping, so bear with me. I decided to rename it, mainly because I wanted to be a tad more creative with it. Also, I realized it might not be too safe to have our last name out there for the world to see, since I don't make mine private. And honestly, Brad isn't going to blog ever. That's just not his thing. It might be better for us all if he never did, anyway. He has a tendency to put his foot in his mouth often. :)
On an unrelated note, we're starting our fence today!!
9 comments:
I think the blog makeover is a great idea! It makes sense to me as to why you want to change it!
How cool that your church has that outreach! I love to bake too. I refuse to let any of it sit in my house. I give away baked stuff constantly.
Mending relationships is such an important thing. I've had my ups and downs with my closest girls and in the end you walk away stronger friends because you've learned and grown together.
Good job on the P90X!! It's hard to stick with something. It's why I sign up for races, it keeps me motivated!
So excited for you and all that is going on!!
I like the new blog skin.And I like you no matter what you look like. :)
lol. thanks ladies!!
Yeah, you were skinny. haha! I remember when Brad had to come home from his mission because of something with his heart. OMG that was so long ago!
I tried P90x. It's too long, and I never did it because I just don't have that many hours in a day. You know what worked for me? 30 day Shred. It's 20 minutes, every day, which is SO doable. I lost almost 20 pounds in a few months doing the Shred every day. It's what I'm going to start again once this move is over.
I don't know what this P90x thing is I'm hearing about, but I'm on the 30 Day Shred train too. I haven't lost much weight in the 2 weeks, but I can definitely tell a difference in my shape. I don't think I've had abs since we were in school together :)
ALSO. There's a thing at CHURCH where you can BAKE? and OTHER people eat the pan of brownies? Dude. I need to start that at my church. Brian is the same as Brad with sweets, and I am the same as you with baking.
I'm really enjoying the P90x so far (ok, if I'm truthful, I hated Tony Horton at first). I lost a couple of pounds this past week, so it's definitely doing something. Luckily, Noah tends to take a good 2 hour nap everyday, so I can fit it in. Plus, Brad spent the $$ for it, and he'd shoot me if I said I want a different DVD now. lol.
And yes, Ashley, it's the BEST ministry ever. I can have a cookie, get rid of the craving, and then give the rest away. You should definitely start one. Or do more bake sales. My grandparents' Presby church does bake sales all of the time.
I know what you mean about the exercise. I'll do pretty well Mon-Fri, but then when I take off on the weekends or if I get sick it takes a supreme effort for me to start up again. The only exercise programs that keep me interested for longer than a week are video games like Dance Dance Revolution or Walk It Out.
Are you putting up the fence to keep my rowdy children out of your yard? :-)
lol... seriously, Dani, I have a feeling your kids are the least rowdiest (is that a word?) I've ever seen. No, I'm not sure what kids were teasing them, but we figured it's a lot less of a hassle to build a fence than to have a kid get bitten.
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