I'm clumsy. Like really, really clumsy.
I trip down the stairs, up the stairs, over my own feet. I've accidentally ran into several poles, a massive column (I kid you not, right after I said, "Follow me. I know where I'm going..."), and a mailbox (I was on a bike).
One morning in college, I was walking to class, and there happened to be two very attractive guys walking with me (just in the same route; I didn't know them). The way I was going, I had to climb about 87534590352 concrete stairs. Well, I lost my footing. Luckily I caught myself before falling down said 85304530467 stairs, but I was so embarrassed that I started laughing nervously, which made it impossible for me to keep climbing without tripping... again and again.
One of the random attractive guys looked at me like I needed serious help and had this "how the heck is this girl in college?" kind of look. He did ask me if I was okay, but I don't think it was an offer to help.
I had a goose fly at my head once.
I was walking to class one day, along with about 25 other people. There's a lake nearby, so geese are always around. I saw a goose on the sidewalk but didn't think anything of it. Not until it started flapping its wings. And then took flight and aimed straight for my head.
And of course people stared and one guy asked, "What did you do to it?!"
I have a weird sense of humor and laugh at innappropriate times. Then the nervousness of my innappropriateness makes me laugh more. It's a problem.
The majority of the time when I talk in group settings, nobody really listens to me. So I'll be in the middle of a story, realize nobody's paying attention, and just kind of trail off mid-sentence.
Actually, that's more sad than embarrassing. Sorry.
I yelled at my (former) boss once.
I was pregnant, and she made me mad. Frankly, every employee there had always wanted to do it. I just had enough crazy-lady hormones running through me to actually go through with it.
And of course, when I got home that night, I wanted to crawl in a hole and wrote an apology email. Thankfully, she'd just had a kid, so she understood why I temporarily lost my everlovin' mind.
Yep, that's it. That's all you need to know.