Drama, Drama, Drama

I took our breakup pretty hard. I mean, you saw how incredibly in love I was. I'd always loved him, and I finally had him.

I tried to make myself busy with graduation stuff. I still went by and saw him at Food Lion every once in awhile. He didn't want to stop being friends, and all I wanted was to see him.
We would sit in his car on his break, and he'd ask me how I was handling things. I told him I was doing ok. He told me he still loved me. "You don't know what love is," I would tell him. Things were decent between us.
I think that lasted for a week.

Our buddy Nick told me that Brad had mentioned to him that he'd been dating Katie for like a month. I confronted him about it, and his reply was, "No, I could never do that to you! That's just wrong."
Then at school, Kelly told me that she heard there was a rumor going around that my friend Anna had seen Brad at the mall cheating on me. I told Kelly that was impossible, that he'd never do something like that to me... or so I thought.
I asked my friend Christy about it, and she said that Anna had seen Brad at the mall holding hands with another girl. So I went to Anna about it. It was true. It was Katie she had seen with him, and they'd been at Eastland Mall, not too far from where she lived... and somewhere I'd never catch him.

I suddenly had a flashback from a few weeks ago at a girls sleepover we'd had. Anna asked me who I was dating, and everyone looked at her like she was crazy. One of them said, "Brad, silly!" She looked like a deer caught in headlights and just said, "Oh". The conversation moved on, and I noticed her whisper something to one of the other girls. I just shrugged it off.
Now I know what she said.

I was devastated.
My friends were all ready to kill him.
As soon as the day ended, I stormed off to my car to call him. I asked him if what I'd heard was true. At first he tried to deny it. When I told him Anna saw him, he said, "Yeah, well, we always do that." "WHAT THE HECK??" was my reply. He said, "Hailey, there's nothing behind it!"
He apologized and said how he understood why I'd think he'd cheated on me, but that's not how it was. Then he tried to explain how "he always holds hands with the girls he takes out somewhere". Then I said, "Funny how you never did that with me!" He said, "Yeah, well, it's different with us."

My stepsister Sarah got on the phone with him later and told him that he better not kiss Katie at prom. He said he wasn't planning on it. She said, "I'm serious Brad. Don't kiss Katie, because that will really hurt Hailey and no one is to hurt Hailey." He said, "I don't even want anything like that with Katie. I don't want to kiss her. Even if I did, it was only going to be on the cheek." She said, "Ok good. You better not kiss her on the lips, because that will ruin any chance you have of getting back together with Hailey." He said, "I know, I'm not going to kiss her."

Well, I called him after prom, and he said he only gave her a peck, nothing serious. I hated it, but figured we weren't together anymore, so fine. Whatever.
Kill me now.
He asked if I was mad. I just changed the subject.

For my graduation trip, my dad was taking me and some friends to Kiawah. Brad was invited and had been trying to get his dad to let him go. Of course, I wasn't Mormon, and goodness knows, that may not be appropriate. At this point, however, I wasn't sure it was worth it anyway.
That weekend, we'd planned on going jet skiing, but he said he had to study for exams. I understood and figured we could hang out the following weekend. When I asked him about it, he said he was busy. I asked what he was doing. "Goin to Katie's" was his reply.
I wanted to throw something.
At him.
I wanted to throw something at him and it hurt. Alot. Because then maybe he could see how much I was hurting. I told him it seemed kind of odd that he had all this time for his other friends, but none for me.

Then he said, "Hailey, it's over. We're not going to get married and we both know that, so there's no reason to be that way anymore." He told me he's been getting closer to Katie, and he likes it that way. I got off the phone and burst into tears.

Sarah called Brad a few days later and chewed his ear off with the whole "how dare you do this to Hailey" thing. That's what all good girl friends do, isn't it? He felt terrible, and he wanted to talk to me. I got on the phone and he sounded like he wanted to make things better between us.
I told him my family was going to see Edwin McCain downtown that weekend and asked him if he'd like to come. He said he was going to the zoo with his family, but he'd try to come if they got back early enough. I was secretly hoping he'd hear our song play, and then realize what an idiot he was being and come back to me.
Around 7pm, I was all ready to go, as was Sarah and her boyfriend Josh. I called to see if he was home yet. His dad told me he'd already gotten home and went out again. I knew exactly where he was. Turns out he'd gone swimming... yes, with her.

I ran downstairs and wrote him an angry email. I told him I was tired of being hurt and said that if he couldn't act like MY Brad, then to leave me alone once and for all.
In the middle of the concert, "I Could Not Ask for More" came on. I was miserable. Sarah could see I was hurting, so she came up and gave me a hug. Tears immediately started falling. She just held me while Josh rubbed my arm. I'd not only lost someone I truly loved, I'd lost a best friend.

...Graduation came...

I somehow made it to the big day. Brad and I were done, and I was finally getting a little better. I was able to get through the day with dry eyes. I knew he was with Katie now, and I had just had to deal with that fact. She won, fair and square. She trumped me with her religion, and that was going to have to be ok with me.

Brad had decided last minute that he didn't want to miss my graduation. I hadn't seen or talked to him in a couple of weeks, so I was pretty nervous about that. The room was set up with a stage, and since I only graduated with 18 people, we all sat up there for the whole thing. Everything was going really well. During the talks, I looked out in the crowd and found my family, along with Sarah, Josh, and several other friends. Then I saw Brad. We caught eachothers eyes. I smiled and he gave me a big smile back.
After graduation was over, we took pictures and stuff. Brad found me and took a picture with me. We were having a party that night at a nearby hotel, and he said he wanted to come to it. Turns out, he cancelled on me because of some Scouts thing.

His mom asked me to stop by before I went, because she hadn't seen me since she got back from her sister's house. His neice Riley answered the door and said, "Wow! You look pretty! Why are you so dressed up?" I told her the occasion and her mom Lia told me I looked gorgeous and asked if Brad was going with me. His mom loved my dress, especially that it was modest.
After the party was over, my phone rang and it was Brad. He said he felt terrible about not coming to the party and wanted to stop by my house. My dad said he could, so he did. I raced upstairs to make sure I looked perfect before he came over.

(You know, you'd think I would've hated his guts at this point, but I just couldn't shake this kid)

He showed up and we sat in our rec room at my dad's and talked for a long time. I told him how hurt and angry I was with him, how he'd totally ripped my heart out, and I felt replaced. He just kept telling me he was sorry over and over. Then it was his turn. He told me that he and Katie liked eachother.
When he said that, I got up and just started pacing. He looked so upset that he'd told me that, since he could see how much it hurt me. He got up and held me.
"No one will ever take the place you have in my heart. No one understands our friendship and the love we have for eachother."
I couldn't take it. I walked out of the room, not sure what to do with myself. Everything he said just hurt me more and more. The fact that I heard him say he liked Katie crushed me. I'd trusted him. I knew she was a threat, but I trusted him anyway.

Girls, always listen to your intuition. Just a tip.

He followed me out, and kept trying to hold me. I just pushed him away. Finally, I let him hold me, and it was obvious he was on the edge of tears. He kept whispering, "I'm so sorry. Forgive me. Please..." He kissed my forehead and begged me to trust him again, at least as a friend. I told him it's going to be a long time before I trusted him again.
It was getting late, so he had to leave.

He spent the next three nights with me as an attempt at trying to build our friendship back. I wanted nothing but to just be with him. We watched TV with my family, went out to eat with my parents, and hung out with Sarah and Josh. One of the nights, we had to go pick them up at a party. We were having a good time until Brad mentioned her name. I got so mad at him. So while Josh and Sarah made out in the back seat, Brad and I were fighting in the front seat. We listened to Jimmy Eat World's "For Me This is Heaven", and it'd never felt more appropriate until that moment. (I think it's on our playlist, actually)

Once we got back to my dad's, we went upstairs and sat on the couch in the recroom. He started telling me what to do if a guy tried to kiss me and I didn't want him to. Then he laughed and pretended he was going to, and I kept pushing him away. We just goofed off the rest of the night.

We were leaving Saturday for Kiawah Island. My parents owned a cottage down there, so they offered to take me and some friends for a graduation trip. Well, it turns out, the only people that could go were my stepsister Sarah and her boyfriend Josh. Brad's dad wouldn't let him go, Kelly's parents didn't like that boys were invited, and my buddy Daniel and his girlfriend cancelled at the last minute.
So yes, at my graduation trip, I was going to be the third wheel right after a terrible breakup.

We got down there Saturday afternoon. Sarah and Josh did a great job trying not to make me feel lonely. But they could only do so much. My poor dad knew I was upset Brad wasn't there. He tried to help make up for it too by keeping us busy.
By Monday, I was still doing fine. We hung out on the beach all day, but the whole time I kept thinking how much Brad would love this place. So that night, I decided to call him. He asked me how everything was and if we were having fun.

At night, Josh, Sarah, and I would walk out to the boardwalk and walk around on the beach. It was gorgeous. I'd just look at all the stars, which just made me miss Brad even more. Poor Sarah and Josh tried so hard to make sure I had fun, but when you're missing someone (especially around another couple), there's not much you can do.

Wednesday, we all went to Charleston to shop. It was nice to go there, because it kept me busy and distracted. We ate at Sticky Fingers for lunch and met one of our long time friends, Bess, there. My dad's phone rang (he owned his own company, so he was having to work from Kiawah some), and he excused himself from the table. After lunch, my dad went to put our bags in the car, and the rest of us went to shop at Sax 5th Ave. Bess and Sarah wanted to get makeovers there. I was trying to smile and have a good time, but I really wasn't in the mood for this. I played along and started helping pick out colors.
I looked up to see my dad coming back from the car. I smiled and kept looking at makeup. When I looked back up, there was Brad.

I was shocked.
I had no idea he was planning this. I ran and jumped on him and wouldn't let go, just in case he might disappear or something.
Turns out, Brad called my dad Monday and told him he convinced his dad to let him come a couple of days. He wanted to keep it a surprise, and it definitely was. He called my dad while we were at lunch, and that's why my dad left to put the bags in the car.
I was just in shock the rest of the day. I couldn't believe he was there. He seemed pretty pleased with himself that he'd pulled it off. We continued shopping, and I was so incredibly happy. My graduation trip was now complete.
After we left Charleston, I rode with Brad back to the house.

That night, we all went to a local restaurant at the Marina. While we waited for our table, we walked around the pier and looked at the yachts and the sun setting. Brad and I walked alone towards the end of the boardwalk. He stopped and told me I was pretty. I started walking off and noticed he wasn't following me. I turned around and he got that face like he was thinking hard.
"What's wrong?" I asked. He shrugged. I asked again.
He paused, then asked me, "Is it wrong for best friends to kiss?" I looked at him confused and asked why. He replied, "Well, you're so pretty, and we're at the beach, and I just have this feeling I'm going to kiss you while we're here."
I just smiled, but I wasn't sure what to say. I mean, at this point, he was dating Katie. However, in my world, he always belonged to me. He just needed to realize that.
So he looked at me and said, "Ok, whatever happens here, stays here."

I smiled and said, "Ok."