While I was pregnant, I made a commitment to myself (and to Noah) not to get sucked into the oh-so-fun baby comparison game.
You know what I'm talking about. Some random new mom brags about how her baby rolled over at such-and-such age, and you realize that your baby hasn't done that yet and your baby is older than that baby, and what's that?? They can sit up too??? and then it's OH MY GOSH, IS MY BABY NORMAL???
Yeah. That's not me.
At least I'm making every effort for it not to be. It's actually a very sneaky mental game, and in my case, it totally isn't because I have rude friends that are trying to tell me how much better their baby is. Not at all. You just hear things. And then you start to wonder, "Hmm..."
I honestly think it's Satan's way of ruining what could be wonderful mommy bonds. There's nothing like having a friend who's going through the same new-baby thing with you, reassuring you after the oops-my-baby-bonked-his-head that he'll be fine, and "no, you're not a bad mom."
Anyway, so far, I've done pretty well. Because I understand that just because so-and-so's baby got teeth early or is reading at an unprecedented 8 months old (insert sarcasm here)... that doesn't mean my baby isn't normal for him. Honestly, if you think about it, all of us were babies once, and last I checked, we all got teeth, learned to hold our head up, crawled, walked, read, rode a bike... it just isn't worth stressing out over.
It's much more fun to be excited for your mom-friend when her baby does something new, without the whole freaking out ordeal.
So to all my fellow mommy buds out there, if I mention a new Noah trick, just know that it's only out of excitement and certainly not to make you run to your baby and encourage them to do the same trick. Because really, they'll just look at you like your crazy anyway, go on to do the one trick they do know, and wait for you to make a big deal of it.
Who knew being a mom would be so complex?
2 comments:
Totally know about the mom competition thing. With Abby being 5 weeks early she was delayed in a few things; she didn't walk until 14 months, got her first tooth at 13 months, and it was frustrating sometimes being a first time mom and others comparing their children. I was just happy she was healthly.
I was lucky because all the people we know had kids way before us or long after us. We didn't have a lot of babies to compare out kids to. I used to wish that I had friends to do the whole mommy thing with, but at least I dodged the comparison business!
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