Last year, Brad was out doing some Christmas shopping at the mall. One of those super annoying kiosk people (the nail one, not the hair straightener guys) came up to him. This was their conversation:
salesman: "This would be the perfect gift for your mother."
Brad: "Really? What does it do?"
- the guy proceeds to give Brad a manicure -
Brad: "You have an amazing voice."
- awkward silence -
Brad: "Don't worry. I'm married."
salesman: "Oh ok. See? Would you like to buy some for your mother?"
Brad: "No, not really."
salesman: "Why not? You don't care for your mother?"
Brad: "Not particularly."
salesman: "Oh everyone cares for their mother!"
Brad: "You don't know my mother."
***
me: "Does Noah have on a poopy?"
Brad: "I don't know. I'll check."
- he proceeds to stick his finger down the back of Noah's diaper -
me: "WHAT are you doing??!"
Brad: "Checking to see if he has a poopy..."
me: "Gross!"
Brad: "Well, how else am I supposed to know??"
***
- I walk in to see Brad and Noah dancing -
me: "What's that you're singing to him??"
Brad: "Low." (by flo rida)
me: "Do you mind not singing songs about strippers to our son?"
***
"If you turn out to be the anti-Christ, I'm going to be really mad at you."
***
my stepdad: "So what are yall up to?"
me: "Just shopping at Bath & Body Works. Brad took some cough syrup with codeine in it, and I'm a little worried about him."
my stepdad: "Well what's Noah doing?"
me: "He wants to eat the candles."
my stepdad: "Sounds like Brad might've slipped him some of that perscription."
***
Brad: "I just walked back in (the store) and this girl caught my eye. I thought, 'Wow, she's hot',' and then I realized, 'Wait a minute, that's my wife!'"
me: "I'm not sure whether to be really flattered by that or mad that you were checking out another girl?"
4 comments:
Mad. No, flattered. No, mad.
I wouldn't know how to feel either. Lol.
Since this is the same guy who included your weight loss in Noah's bedtime prayers just be flattered and call it a day :)
These made me laugh!!!
This is off topic but I just want you to know that this weekend i'm making 3 of your recipes!! The creamed corn, the mashed potatoes, and the sweet potatoe casserole! I'll take pictures and post them on my blog. Thank you!! I found a recipe for turkey breasts stuffed with cornbread and sage stuffing. Let you know how it is!
I didn't get the sense that Brad was this funny when we were in small group together :-). I think we need to set up a game night so I can meet the real Brad!
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