personality disclosure

Over the years, I've often gotten labeled as "uptight". Usually, people who say this either don't know me very well or just flat out don't like me for whatever reason (but those are few and far between, obviously. hehe). More often than not, though, I've realized there are three main reasons for it.

#1. I'm naturally shy/quiet. Shy people get a bad rap. A lot of the time, we're perceived as "snotty". It's assumed that because we don't demand the center of attention or gush our feelings to everyone we know, that we must not like other people. But honestly? Shy people are just that. Shy. Sometimes, it's because certain events or people in our lives have caused us to have trust issues. Why divulge all of our big secrets to acquaintances? We don't know what they'll do with the information... judge it? spread it? If we've been hurt or rejected in the past, more than likely, we've learned from it and don't enjoy being vulnerable.
     Other times, people are shy because they're trying to take in other personalities. Are they trustworthy? Are they friendly? Self-centered? Welcoming? We take time to listen. Get to know people first. And in my case, I'm naturally quiet (my voice too), so if/when I do talk, I get overlooked. People don't hear me, and a lot of the time, it's because there's a stronger personality present that overshadows me. So I just wait for a free moment to say something. I was always taught that interrupting people is rude, so I don't. If that free moment never comes? Oh well. I don't have to talk a lot to have a good time. I just like being around different people. It helps challenge and shape a person.

#2. I have incredibly high standards for myself. I don't drink, curse, smoke, or watch trashy movies. I dress modestly ("modest is hottest"), be nice to people, listen to Christian/country/happy music, attempt to keep a clean house, and try to eat healthy. This is probably what really gets me labeled as "uptight". But again, if you don't know me, then of course, this is what you'd assume of me.
     Here's the thing. These are my standards for myself. I don't think you're evil if you have a glass of wine with dinner. I grew up with alcohol in my home... not in the "my dad was a drunk" type of way, but in the "my dad likes a nice glass of wine with his steak" way. We had real wine with Communion at church. I don't judge others for having a beer or whatever. But personally, I don't drink. My husband has some pretty serious views concerning alcohol, though. So to respect him, I've chosen not to drink as well. I've always felt that if a drink is that important... that you're willing to choose it over the love of your life... well then, your priorities might be a little out of order. Either that, or you're just not compatible. So yeah, I don't judge others if they want to drink. That's their decision for their life. But what really gets me? Is when people call me "uptight" because I won't drink. It's almost as if they pass judgement on me for not drinking, which sounds a little backwards actually now that I wrote that out. :)
     As for the other stuff? I'm a Christian. As such, I try to honor the Lord with my life. I don't believe worship ends when the song is over. Worship is a lifestyle. And I choose to honor God in this way because I want to, not because I have to. But again, this is my decision. If someone (*cough*myhusband*cough) happens to let a couple choice words slip, I don't hold it against him. I'd prefer it not happen around our kid, but you know what? He's human. And so is everyone else, including me. Although I've chosen this way of life for myself, I am by no means perfect. I'll go over our budget or ignore that basket of laundry that's sat there for three days or let my kid watch a little too much tv or let him eat frozen yogurt from Yoforia for dinner (oh, the horror...). I try not to take myself (or others) too seriously. I like to have fun. I love sarcasm. I want to go zip lining and repelling and most recently, I've thought about sky diving.

#3. The biggest indicator of when someone calls me uptight? They just don't know me or like me. It's so easy to pass judgement on people when you haven't taken the time to get to know them. If you don't know their story, their beliefs, their goals in life... it's so easy to label them. That's how negative stereotypes happen. People become a target, because you don't see them for who they are.
     If they do know all of that about me and still call me names? Then they just flat out don't like me, usually because they don't agree with how I'm living my life. And honestly, I can't argue much with that. Ultimately, that's their problem. Because I'm happy. Beyond happy, really. And if they don't like me because I just have a different point of view and opinions? I figure they're too narrow minded and judgemental, and I don't have time for that anyway.

So yeah, combine the shyness with high standards with people who don't know much about me? Definitely a recipe for unfair stereotypes.
I'm not sure where this was going. I guess I needed a personality disclosure. Or a shout-out to the other shy peeps out there. Either way, maybe I'll end it with a challenge. Don't assume that because a person is being all quiet, that they're judging you or being snotty. You don't know what a person is thinking. More often than not, they're waiting for someone to make them feel comfortable and included.

The end. :)

Look, here's proof... me being non-uptight with a bunch of girls who are like 4 years younger than me and in college (at the time).