(Brad brought home a huge cardboard box for Noah. He's not the only one having some fun with it)
Last Tuesday evening, my friend Kelly and her fiance (also named Brad) came over for dinner. It's been a while since we've all gotten together, so it was fun catching up. Her fiance is a great guy; very loveable. Don't believe me? Just ask Noah.
Noah is a social little booger. He has no problem being friendly with strangers, as long as we're right there with him. We just can't hand him over to them (poor, poor Santa...). But something was different this time. Noah immediately loved him. He followed him everywhere, crawled up in his lap, and wanted to do whatever it was Brad was doing.
When we sat down to dinner, Noah had already eaten. He saw us, gave one long look at Brad, then crawled into the chair next to him and attempted to eat some of our pasta. I fixed a plate for him, knowing full well that he wasn't actually going to eat any of it, and gave him a fork. He proceeded to pretend-eat, keeping a close eye on Brad, making sure he was doing it exactly the way he did.
He and Brad became total best buds.
I may have to hire him as Noah's new therapist.
He and Brad became total best buds.
I may have to hire him as Noah's new therapist.
I don't know what happened that night, but something inside of Noah's head just "clicked". All of a sudden, he's mimicking us. He's doing normal toddler things, like eating off of a fork with no issues, playing with toys appropriately (instead of hitting 2 puzzle pieces together like cymbals, he actually does the puzzle and gets it completely right), and tries to mimick words. He responds if I ask him "more?" by signing. On his own, completely unprompted, he signed "all through" the other night. Things I've been working with him on since he was tiny are finally showing. If he's not verbally communicating, he will grab our hands and lead us to whatever it is he's trying to communicate he wants. For example, yesterday I went to get our tire patched (darn those sloppy roofers). Noah was trying to figure out how to tell me he was ready to leave. So he found the door, then grabbed my hand and led me to it. When I explained we couldn't leave yet, he grabbed my hand and put it on the actual doorknob in case I wasn't understanding what he wanted. He's bringing me "cool" things he finds to show me, usually sticks. :)
And this leads me to my current predicament. I can't decide at the moment what the right move is here, so I thought I'd ask my internet buds.
We're on the 2nd week of doing CBRS (which is basically just "learning by playing"). In fact, because of the holiday, we've really only had two 45-minute sessions. The first one, Noah spent half the time ignoring her. The therapist is so sweet and is great at what she does. Thing is? She's not doing anything I'm not already doing. And half the time, if Noah isn't interested in what she has to offer, I'm making suggestions (don't worry, I'm not being obnoxious... just suggesting what he might respond well to) and every one of my suggestions works. We played with his train set the other day, and she did a lot of, "Can you play with the train?? Look, here's the train. Say 'choo-choo!'" I'm totally not trying to be condescending. Honestly. If we weren't paying her, I'd have her keep coming just to hang out with her. She's awesome as a person, and I know she's good at what she does. I'm just not convinced that what she's doing is right for Noah.
Just out of curiosity, I asked her if there was a timeline for him... like one of those, "we'd like to see him saying 10 more words in 3 months. If not, we'll reevaluate..." type things. Her response was no. She said that every child is different, and she'll be with him until he turns three. So really, there's no actual goal. And at age three, he'll be in the school system where all of this will suddenly be free. Am I wrong to think this is odd? The reason we got referred by the pediatrician was because he wasn't following their developmental timeline. So wouldn't it make sense for there to be sort of a "goal" timeline? Obviously, one within reason. But a goal, nonetheless. If not, what are we doing?
Am I jumping the gun? Should we continue? Or am I just throwing away money, since Noah is obviously figuring things out on his own terms? It's not totally unaffordable (in fact, they gave us a miracle rate), but it's still a big chunk of change that we could use. And since she's doing everything I've always done with him, I'm wondering... is it worth it?
One of Brad's (my Brad) coworkers has a little boy who was a late-talker. She explained that one day, it was like everything just clicked. And that's how it seems to have happened with Noah. While he's not spouting out complete sentences yet, he's definitely made some progress. Like overnight, night-and-day progress. Something in his brain has "clicked".
I don't know. I want to do what's right for Noah. What do you think? Stay with it and see what happens? Bail now before we spend more (much needed) money and continue my own sort of "mom therapy"? Explore other options?
Aaaand... GO.
Just out of curiosity, I asked her if there was a timeline for him... like one of those, "we'd like to see him saying 10 more words in 3 months. If not, we'll reevaluate..." type things. Her response was no. She said that every child is different, and she'll be with him until he turns three. So really, there's no actual goal. And at age three, he'll be in the school system where all of this will suddenly be free. Am I wrong to think this is odd? The reason we got referred by the pediatrician was because he wasn't following their developmental timeline. So wouldn't it make sense for there to be sort of a "goal" timeline? Obviously, one within reason. But a goal, nonetheless. If not, what are we doing?
Am I jumping the gun? Should we continue? Or am I just throwing away money, since Noah is obviously figuring things out on his own terms? It's not totally unaffordable (in fact, they gave us a miracle rate), but it's still a big chunk of change that we could use. And since she's doing everything I've always done with him, I'm wondering... is it worth it?
One of Brad's (my Brad) coworkers has a little boy who was a late-talker. She explained that one day, it was like everything just clicked. And that's how it seems to have happened with Noah. While he's not spouting out complete sentences yet, he's definitely made some progress. Like overnight, night-and-day progress. Something in his brain has "clicked".
I don't know. I want to do what's right for Noah. What do you think? Stay with it and see what happens? Bail now before we spend more (much needed) money and continue my own sort of "mom therapy"? Explore other options?
Aaaand... GO.
5 comments:
I don't understand why your EI therapy costs so much? It must be a North Carolina thing? They are supposed to pro-rate it based on your income? We paid $50 a month for 6 hours of therapy sessions a WEEK with the Illinois Early Intervention program. You read that correctly...only $50 a month! And I'm not making *that" little money. :-)
ALL Henry's therapists came up with concrete goals for him. 1-2 month goals of what new words he should be saying, what he should be doing, how many 2-3 word sentences etc. he should be saying. Henry still sees one therapist from 2 years ago and she's still setting goals for him. For example Henry just repeats things if you ask him a question. "Do you want a cookie?" He'll say "Cookie please". Instead of just saying "Yes.". Its little things like that that a GOOD therapist will point out...
You might need a better therapist. I would NOT stop therapy. Everyone knows that therapy is key for resolving speech delay. Trust me - they know tricks we as moms do not. I'm sure what you're doing in addition is the reason Noah made over night improvements.
We have Henry in 20 hours of therapy a week and I still don't feel like we're doing enough for him.
Don't quit Noah's therapy. You will regret it when he's 4 and still not speaking much. Not to scare you but it doesn't just "click" for every non-talker. For the lucky ones yes and I pray Noah is a lucky one. Sorry if this is harsh. It's just my honest opinion.
I thought Henry would just click too and now he's turning 4 and still not speaking like a normal 4 year old who tells stories, and makes up elaborate games, and asks a million questions. Sure Henry says things but he's not "talking". There is a huge difference.
I wouldn't risk it with Noah/
I hope you don't hate me for this comment! I mean it from a place of love. Trust me!
Oh and Henry does the same thing when he can't get the words out. He'll grab your hand and physically show you what he wants... It's easier for him than finding the words and makes me sad. I wish he would just say it!!!
I have no idea! But I think you'll know what is right for you and especially for Noah. There is a TON of benefits when it is just the mother teaching vs having a therapist because the child doesn't know how to act. So, I say with time, Noah is going to progress in his own way. I don't know. You and Brad are great parents so I know you'll figure out what to do!! Good luck!
I agree with Heather that your EI sounds awfully expensive. (Backtrack. Just looked up TEACCH. They're now charging $50 a session. Is that your situation! Yikes!) Would you consider switching over to the state run early intervention program. I wish I knew which organization Noah was getting services with.) Did you go through one of the state agencies? Do you have a copy of his services plan? (Infant Family Services Plan?) Within the IFSP, there should be goals and a timeline. The goals should be specific and trackable. I know that in VA, they pro rate services based on income. But I don't know anything about how NC does things. Have you mentioned to your Case Manager how much of a drain the therapy bill is on your family budget? I did an internship with an EI Agency in VA for my master's (Early Childhood Special Education), so I've got a bit of experience behind my humble opinion.
I agree with Heather that you shouldn't quit therapy just yet. Keep on trucking till Noah is three and can enter the school system. I also think that you might be able to find a better fit of therapies or therapists. Maybe it's time to switch one of the sessions for speech or OT. Does your insurance cover therapy?
To put things in from the therapist's perspective, not every mom is like you. Not every mom has the energy, know how, and spare moments to work with their kid like you've been working with Noah. So she's just trying some basic stuff first just to cover her bases. She'll figure out pretty quickly that you're already doing the language-intensive play. So tell Noah's therapist that you're already doing that. Ask her about ABA. Ask her how to show you how to do it (Because you can. look it up). Ask about Pivotal Response training. You can do that too. Look it up. :) There's a lot of research-based teaching methods for little guys that are smart-mom friendly. And you are such a smart mom.
You should not feel like you aren't learning anything or that neither of you are being challenged. I'd try to find a new therapist. You will NOT be the first one in the world to do so. I took over for another SLP one time and it worked out really well. I'd continue with therapy for now.
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