Life Lately.

Right now, I'm taking advantage of a few minutes to myself and writing. Well, sort of. Obama and Mitt are in the other room, going back and forth with their respective ideas. I'm not much of a debate watcher. I'm listening, and of course I believe in getting all of the facts (as hard as that may be...) in order to make an informed decision when voting. It's not the information overload that I don't like. I can handle that.
I don't like conflict. Debates make me nervous and antsy. And when one guy makes a great point, while simultaneously putting the other guy's ideas down, it just makes me want to give the one in question a hug. Tell them they're doing a good job, as if they're a 5 year old in a school play. That if it were me, I would've wet my pants by now.

***

You know you've taken too long to update the blog when it still says "summer 2012" at the top and people are emailing to make sure you're okay. haha.

Honestly? I'm just a little overwhelmed with life right now.
I have a lot going on.... nothing crazy, but enough to stress me out and keep me busy.

I feel like I have 20 million projects going on, and instead of getting any of them done, I'd much rather curl up in bed and watch cheesy, girly movies for the rest of the week. Pretend those projects don't exist.

As for the lack of blogging? Besides being busy, I'm feeling a little less-than-inspired lately. As if I'm just creatively spent. Not that my writing is all that magical normally. But I sit down to write.... and blank.

So here I go, attempting to formulate some sort of cohesive thought.

***

Work is going well. I've had a few photoshoots recently, which makes me happy. Especially when I see the clients happy. But I also see how far I have left to go, when it comes to growing. And that thought alone? Totally overwhelms me. As if I'll never get there. As if I don't deserve to even be doing what I'm doing. It's just negative thoughts that I keep having to ignore. Remind myself that the only one I need to compare myself to is me.

Noah is doing amazingly well. I'll go more into it in another post, but the strides he's made in the last month have been so awesome to see. I thank his OT all the time for being so wonderful. God couldn't have given him a more perfect therapist.
His public school OT, though? I'm having a really hard time trying to decide how to handle the situation.

Part of his IEP is that they want him to eventually copy block patterns. Right now, though, he's definitely not there yet. This goal is for June of 2013, and she's expecting him to do it now. She speaks to him like he's an 8 year old, with lots of verbiage and descriptive words. Noah is nonverbal. He responds best to 2-3 word phrases. Too many words, and he completely ignores everything you're saying. She brings zero toddler toys. All of her toys are boring to him, and she doesn't understand why he wants to run around towards the end of the session (even though I've explained his sensory needs and that he uses movement as an escape when he's overwhelmed). Last time, she attempted to make him stop. First by repeating, "Stop running. Stop running" over and over (not sure if Noah even knew she was talking to him. lol). Then by physically stopping him. His regular OT? She gets that he needs small breaks. That he needs regular sensory input, and that moving around solves that for him. Heck, ALL of his other therapists get that.

When Noah dropped a couple of the blocks, she told him, "Noah I need you to pick up those blocks before we do something else. Pick up the blocks..." She then holds out the bag of blocks for him to put the others in. He thought she was offering more blocks to him, and every time he would reach for more in the bag, she would shut it on him. He began to get very frustrated, and had I not stepped in, he would've spiraled quickly. I swooped in, put one of the blocks from the floor in his hand, and said, "Clean up". He then understood and did what she wanted.
But see... I shouldn't have to do that. She should know Noah's level of communication. She should know that, even though the goal is to get him to respond to adult directions, he's not THERE yet. And that you don't get there immediately. You take baby steps. Otherwise the therapy is going to be completely useless once Noah sees it as a negative experience.
Later when she asked him to clean up, she put the bag next to a table. When he leaned over, he hit his head pretty hard on the edge of the table. With tears in his eyes, he looked to her for comfort. Her response? "Oh, you're fine." No hug or anything. Maybe this is the momma bear in me, but that was a huge moment for her to gain some sort of relationship and trust with Noah. And instead, she blew it off as no big deal.

The other therapists? He'll climb in their laps and play with them. This particular one, he pretty much ignores or has zero relationship with her.

I've talked to his Special Ed teacher, his SLP, his private OT, and his former IE coordinator. All of them agree that I need to say something. That she needs to start small with him, bring toys that he'll enjoy, and make it a positive experience. I'm just trying to figure out how to explain what Noah needs without acting like an overprotective jerk.
The thing is? I feel like I keep having to step in and explain how to handle Noah. Explain his sensory needs, his limited language, and what he responds best to. I shouldn't have to do that. Not after it's all written in his IEP and after she's had several sessions to get to know him. Had I not been in the room for these therapies, he would've spiraled quickly and had no idea what she wanted from him.

So this has been weighing on my heart a lot lately. I think she's just used to working with older kids, not toddlers. Noah JUST turned three. Boring beige blocks and a squiggly pen just aren't going to be motivating enough for him. I've been advised to bring our own toys next time and to make suggestions on how to help Noah most effectively.
I don't have a problem sticking up for my kid. I just want to do it in a way that doesn't offend her.

And that's what's been preventing me from writing happy posts. I'm trying to avoid being a total downer. But yeah. This is where my head and heart have been.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to curl up on the couch and watch a Gilmore Girls rerun (okay not really. But I would like to...). :)