As you guessed, this blog is about me and my boys... about our life: the boring, the not-so-boring, the milestones, the successes, the failures, the lessons learned, the totally random and ridiculous, the friendships formed, the love strengthened, the bonds not broken, and the world from our (ok, mostly my) perspective.
It begins here...
My husband Brad and I met when we were eight years old. We grew up in the same small, neighborhood where you could roam the streets at night and still feel safe. Someone's mom was always watching after you. Muggy summer nights were spent underneath the trees, lying on the trampoline in my back yard, discussing hot topics such as water skiing and Jennifer Love Hewitt. In winter, we yearned for snow and called all of our friends when we saw the first flurries. Snowball fights, wrestling matches, and late night phone calls defined our early friendship.
Suddenly, we found ourselves at fourteen and fifteen. Me with braces, a bad perm, and a massive crush on the boy down the street. Him with wild hair, total confidence, and a strange fascination with the girl he grew up with. Late at night, we would talk on the phone, confessing our crushes to eachother, only to find the next day that we were too scared to act on it. We remained friends with some flirting on the side.
"Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires."
Song of Solomon 8:4b
At sixteen, we had our first kiss on the front porch at my parents' house.
At seventeen, I had given up that he'd ever call me his girlfriend. I started dating someone else, and he didn't like it. One cool, overcast, December afternoon; I was leaving his house. Alanis Morrisette was crowing upstairs in the background, and the Christmas tree behind us was twinkling. It was there he finally kissed me, the kind of kiss that let me know we were definitely more than just friends.
The next morning, his oldest brother lost his battle with cancer.This was just the beginning of my job as his partner.
"A friend loves at all times,
And a brother is born for adversity."
Proverbs 17:17
We spent our summers at my parents' vacation cottage in Kiawah Island... walking the beach at night, shopping in Charleston, carriage rides around the city, boogie boarding contests, teaching me how to fish, bike rides on the island, late night pizzas, movies with family, and a million different pretend marriage proposals on the beach.
He was perfect.
We were perfect.
Our relationship turned out to be a little unlike any other normal high school fling.
As time went on, we both attempted to continually avoid the unavoidable. It was like a dark cloud following us, yet somehow we stayed one step ahead of it, ignoring the distant thunder and threatening winds.
He was raised LDS (Mormon), and I'm a "born again" Christian.
Parents disapproved, friends raised their eyebrows, and spectators gossiped. That was okay. We didn't care. Isn't that how it always is when you're crazy in love?
"Hope deferred makes the heart sick,
but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life."
Proverbs 13:12
Once we graduated high school, the cloud started catching up.
At 19, he went on a 2 year mission for his church to Colorado Springs, CO.
I was devastated. Miserable. My heart ached like a hole in my chest. Tears weren't enough. Everything in me hurt. I didn't eat. I felt sick and lost weight. I would have no communication with him, other than letters, for two years. For most who are brought up in the culture, this was a good thing. Everyone on his end was celebrating.
For me? The love of my life was gone. I hated him and loved him. I was angry at him and happy for him. He was doing this to me, but he needed me to do this for him. The likelihood of him coming back and marrying me, as I was, was very slim. But I was determined to wait. I would prove them all wrong. He was mine and always would be. I constantly prayed for him (...and ok, begged God to bring him back), wrote letters every single day, sent care packages, and was 100% faithful. No other dates. No other boys. I knew who I wanted to marry, and I was going to do all I could to keep him without sacrificing who I was to my core. It wasn't easy. We fought in our letters. We poured our hearts out in our letters. They contained every possible emotion one can dig out of themselves. We hated eachother for being so stubborn, but we needed eachother. After being with him daily for years, not feeling his touch was torture.
But instead of wallowing in self pity, we got creative. He had given me a necklace, which represented his heart... I wore it every single minute of the day. He purchased a tape recorder and spent his days talking to me on it. Once they were filled up, he would mail it to me. Hearing his voice, what he was doing, how much he still loved me... that's what got me through it. He took a video camera with him and mailed videos back of places he'd been and people he'd met. He sent pictures, letters, cards... anything to help connect us.
Brad was born with a congenital heart defect ("L-transposition of the greater vessels", leaking valve, murmer, partridge in a pear tree). When he left, he was in peak physical condition.
Five months into his mission, he was given a routine check, and they found something very wrong.
At 19, he was diagnosed with a recorded event of Ventricular Tachycardia. The doctors out west told him that if he didn't have surgery (for a pacemaker and defibrillator), he would be dead within 6 weeks. The majority of people wanted him to stay out there to have the surgery and continue his mission, but he chose to come home to be with those he loved (just in case). As you can imagine, my heart went through the roof when I heard he was coming home. But fear soon followed as I heard why.
You better believe I hit my knees in prayer, begging the Lord who got me through the last few months, to save the man I loved.
Turns out, as soon as he landed on Southern soil, it was gone (hallelujah). His "V-Tag" never returned. No surgery was needed. However, he started having TIA's (mini-strokes) about a year later. The first one happened on his way to visit family. He was sitting in the Salt Lake airport by himself when the whole right side of his body went numb. Thank goodness for angels. The Lord sent one to save Brad. He came back home, still unable to talk correctly or hold light objects. We spent a lot of time in the ER, hospitals, and doctors' offices. There were brain scans, needles, and lots of tests. They finally figured out that there was a hole in the back of his heart that needed to be patched. They performed surgery, and he's been perfectly healthy ever since.
"If you abide in me, and my words abide in you,
ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you."
John 15:7
Needless to say, our college years weren't spent like most kids'. While everyone else was out partying, I spent most of my nights at Brad's bedside, running errands, listening to medical advice, asking questions, giving answers, calling 911, giving him medication, and somehow doing homework in the middle of it all. Definitely gives a kid some perspective.
Eventually, life got back to normal. We both finished school. He got his degree in Finance; mine was the ever-so-glamorous Sociology degree. Each of us adopted a dog (they're brothers). I took the Golden mix, Dodger; he took the Lab mix, Flash (but most people think they're purebreds). They were our first babies.
Flash
Dodger
We broke up once (he broke up with me, in case you were curious), but got back together after a few weeks.
On Christmas Eve (2006), Brad took me to the exact spot where we first met as kids, the middle of the road in front of my house, got on one knee and asked me to be his wife.
After dating 8 years, we were married November 17, 2007.
"Delight yourself in the Lord,
and he will give you the desires of your heart."
Proverbs 37:4
We bought a home not too far from where we grew up.
In August 2009, we welcomed our first baby, Noah. This blog has since seemed to revolve around him. But don't worry, life with toddlers is anything but boring.
"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.'" Jeremiah 29:11 (our wedding verse)
