Lately (with an 8 second clip of Noah singing!)

I've been so overwhelmed lately. It's not really just one thing either. It's lots of little things that have piled up and are making me feel like crawling into a corner and crying. Or inhaling an entire gallon of ice cream (which is why I haven't bought any...).
And I feel like I'm going to let somebody down. No one in particular. It just seems inevitable. If I focus on getting one thing done? Something else is going to suffer. For example, I'm doing pretty well trying to keep up with my business stuff. Photos are edited ahead of schedule, and I'm in the process of rebranding (which is stressful enough in and of itself...). But my house? Yeah, it looks like a family of 15 just ate at my house... then tried flushing an entire roll of toilet paper. And spilled veggie smoothie all over me. And picked at blue chalk, so there are little chalk bits on the floor. Oh, and the 15 people also decided to have a party all night long. Except those 15 people? They happen to be one toddler.

I just feel like there's not enough of me to go around.
I need like 3 more me's to make my life work out a little more smoothly (can I get an "Amen", mommas?!).

Noah had his IEP meeting Monday, and it went well. It's very laid back compared to what I've heard most meetings are like. His speech therapist wasn't even there for it. But I was happy with it overall. I think they sort of get a decent idea of where he's at. However, they're only with him for 30 minutes a week, so they don't get to see all of the successes we have at home. While I was there, I had Noah say his little phrases like, "Oh no, George!" and sing songs for them. They were stunned.

Seriously, where he is at this year compared to last year at this time? It's like having a completely different kid. He no longer lives like he's just existing in his own world, but he's present. He gives us spontaneous hugs and kisses. If I give him a choice between milk or water, he'll answer, "wa wa". If I give him simple directions, he's following them (for the most part... he IS still a toddler, after all. ha). He's added like 20 new words to his vocabulary in the last few weeks. I'm still waiting for "Ma-ma" to surface again. :)

Seeing as how the words are starting to come, we've decided to pay for private speech therapy, especially since school will be out soon. After next week, he wouldn't be getting anything until September. So after his IEP meeting, we had to run to the same place where his OT is at for a speech evaluation. Because he was sleep deprived, he wasn't quite on his A-game. But she did get a "ready, set, go!" out of him. :) I'm really excited about it, because she uses sensory integration as part of her speech therapy, which is perfect for him.

So that's where I've been. Add in a hospital visit for Brad a couple weeks ago (he's okay!), a much needed girls' night, Mother's Day, and Noah's sleep getting all messed up again... and well, that's why I haven't been blogging. Dude, I haven't even been reading blogs. I've missed my blog buds. :)

Hopefully I'll be back before another 2 weeks passes by.
And with that, I'll leave you with a quickie video of Noah singing. The song is from Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood (which, fyi, has been a total gift from God... his speech, social skills, and self-care skills have totally blossomed because of this show).

It goes, "I like you, I like you, I like you.... (then Noah finishes) Just the way you are!"

If you really knew me...

If you really knew me...

You'd know that I'm a glass-half-full kind of girl. I prefer to look at the positives instead of the negatives and give people the benefit of the doubt, even when it's blatantly obvious that they're just not a nice person.

You'd know that I don't have a regular group of friends that I hang out with. They're all very random and very different. Sometimes I wish I had a regular group (like at parties when nobody knows each other...) , but for the most part, I like it that way.

You'd know that I tend to attract really outgoing friends, ones who like to be silly and often the center of attention. It works out well, because I like to be the loyal bff on the sidelines cheering them on. :)

You'd know that if I'm going to consume a ton of calories, it's going to be on some ridiculously good dessert. You know how some people would rather spend them on a big hearty meal? Yeah, that's not me. Pass the Godiva chocolate cheesecake.

You'd know that for some reason, my name was put on a senior citizens' list, and I get all kinds of offers for hearing aids, wheelchairs, and AARP memberships. 

You'd know that my car always looks like a homeless person lives in it. As does any bags I happen to be carrying. I don't prefer it to look that way, but I've decided it's a lost cause. I've always been like this, and I probably always will be.

You'd know that I'm a closet shopaholic. And not just for me, but for other people too. I can't help it. Both my parents are as well. In fact, as a kid, my dad would take us shopping, just for the fun of it. Because unlike most other men in America, that's what he enjoyed doing. I've learned to reign myself in, but man if I had unlimited funds? It could turn into a problem, I'm sure.

via

You'd know that I hate scary movies. Hate, hate, hate. Give me something to laugh at, and I'm good. However, I do enjoy a good superhero/transformer/Die Hard movie now and then.

You'd know that I plan to own a farm one day. Or just own lots of land with a couple of horses and four-wheelers.

You'd know that I always lose everything. My phone, keys, and sunglasses are lost on a daily basis.

Along those lines, you'd know that I've also lost a little bit of my writing mojo, which is why I'm having to rip this idea from my lovely friend Katie. Thanks, Katie. :)

Bloggers 411

I'm linking up today with Becky from Mrs to Mama! I saw a few of these Blogger 411 posts floating around and thought it'd be fun to join in. Remember way back in the day when people would email surveys out? Yeah, I was the weirdo that actually enjoyed them. Now that the blog world has gotten so popular, it's nice to know I'm not the only one. ;)

1. How long have you been blogging? And what got you started on blogging? Has your blog changed?
I started blogging back in 2002 using Livejournal. Before that, I was an avid writer and have a closet full of diaries and journals to show for it. The reason I started was mainly because I can type faster than I can hand-write. My poor hand just can't keep up with my brain.
I started this blog after my friend Meagan convinced me to jump on the blogger bandwagon. It started out pretty boring, but has progressed over the years into what it is now... another mom blog. ;)

2. Did you go to college? If so where, and what did you study?

I sure did! I graduated high school a year early (at 17), and I wasn't really itchin' to run away and party with the college frat boys just yet. Instead, I played it safe (and saved my parents a bunch of $$) and attended a community college for the first year. I went to UNC-Greensboro for ONE semester and HATED IT. Don't get me wrong, the school is fabulous. But I hated my major (business), I missed Brad, and I hated being away from home. The only reason I went was because people kept telling me I needed to go away and have the "college experience". The only friends I made were this big group of guys that I ate dinner with every night. At 20, I felt like I was eating with a bunch of 35 year olds with real life issues and facial hair. They were really cool though, except for the one who invited me to go to California with him, even though he knew I had a boyfriend. But that's another story for another day.

via

After that awful semester, I transferred to UNC-Charlotte. I changed my major to the oh-so-glamorous field of Sociology. And while I did absolutely zero with the major, I loved it. I'm totally fascinated by other cultures, social stratification, deviant behavior, social movements, etc. I almost minored in Women's Studies as well.
Based on my educational background, you'd never know I'm a Republican. :)

3. Where have you traveled?
I've done plenty of "vertical" traveling. The furthest west I've been in the US is the NC mountains. I've been to PA... visited the Amish, Hershey Park, Knoebels, etc. I've been to DC, GA, SC (mostly Myrtle Beach and Kiawah almost every year), and the Outer Banks of NC. We honeymooned in Disney World back in '07, but I'd been twice before that.
My biggest trip, though was to Cancun a couple of years ago with Brad. Instead of a bonus at work, my employers offered to pay for a hotel stay of our choosing. So we decided to go somewhere that we'd probably never get to if we were paying. We stayed in a 5 Diamond resort and spa. It was absolutely amazing.

4. If you won the lottery, what would be the first thing you would buy?
Okay, I could list a bunch of charities I'd love to donate to, and I totally would. But y'all are wanting to hear the selfish stuff, right? haha... A bunch of land, pay my dad to build my dream home, and a couple of horses. And a new car for Brad. Poor guy has been driving clunkers since he got his license.

5. What are your 3 biggest pet peeves?
*My own clumsiness... I'm covered in self-inflicted bruises all of the time. I trip over/down/up things, ram my toes into corners/vacuum cleaners/random objects, and drop everything. I promise Brad doesn't beat me. I just have a coordination problem.
*When my husband uses our bed post as a hanger for his clothes
*One-uppers.

6. What is your favorite movie?
The Notebook. The setting is the island next to Kiawah, where Brad and I have been vacationing since we first started dating. Except I always turn off the movie once she comes back to him. That way it ends on a happy note. :)
(Benny and Joon is a close second. Johnny Depp was my first big Hollywood crush, thanks to this movie)

7. What is your drink of choice; wine, beer, or liquor. Or Water, Soda, Tea?
I almost always just drink water. But outside of that, I like Lemon-Lime Gatorade. If I'm feeling really crazy, I'll have a couple sips of Brad's Dr Pepper. ;)

8. What is something you enjoy to do when you have me time?
Watch tv, read, do my nails, shop, go out with friends, blog. Heck, if I can go to Target alone, that's a treat for me.

9. If you could have a $10,000 shopping spree to one store, which store would it be?
Anthropologie. Or Target.

10. Share with us an embarrassing moment of your past? Or present.
When I was 14, I walked my little sister (in her stroller... she wasn't even a year old yet) down to Brad's house (we lived in the same neighborhood). We talked for a little bit outside, then I decided to head home. His driveway had a pretty steep hill. Attempting to show off and be all, "Look what a cool big sister I am!", I started jogging down the driveway with the stroller. My foot got caught on one of the wheels, and I ate it. I literally rolled down the hill, while the stroller went flying and toppled over. Thankfully, she was alright.
I looked up and Brad was just staring with his mouth open, unsure of what to say. So he hesitantly asked, "Are you okay?" When I said yes, he proceeded to laugh at me for the next 3 days.

(I bet you thought I was exaggerating with the clumsy thing, didn't you?
Also, I didn't tell my mom this story for years.)

11. What day would you love to relive again?
Several... playing outside with friends as a kid, summers on the lake as a teenager, the day I met Brad, mine and Brad's first kiss, prom, my wedding day, any of those first few days with Noah.

12. If your life was turned into a movie... what actor would play you?
Anne Hathaway. Pretty sure I'd be getting phone calls if I said anyone else. lol.

13. What are the jobs you had in high school/college/the early years?
I worked in a little high-end clothing boutique in Davidson. It was really slow, but my boss was so cool. On the days she was there, or if I worked with my aunt, we'd just hang out and talk for hours. After it closed, I would try on the dresses I loved that were way too expensive and made for women who are 6 ft tall.
The only reason I stopped working there was because my boss got pregnant and decided to close the store.

(no, we didn't employ kids. that's my little sister visiting. lol)

After that, I worked for a costume/fashion jewelry boutique. I was there for 5 years, starting out as a regular associate and made my way to assistant manager, then the sole engraver for four stores (plus the internet orders).
It had its moments, but overall I loved it and treasure the friendships I made there.

14. Show us a picture from high school or college.

At a high school dance with Brad. Actually, this was our first date!

(I was 17 here)

Out with friends (I was 16 here).

Graduation night with my childhood bff and stepsister.
(17 here)

15. If you could travel anywhere in the world, all expenses paid, where would you go?
I don't think I could pick just one!! Paris is a definite.
I'd love to go to Hawaii, St Thomas, or just anywhere tropical.

16. Show us the most current picture of you or you, or your family, or anything of meaning to you.
This was the last family picture we have of all 3 of us. It's hard being the one behind the lens all of the time! There aren't very many pictures of me!

This was a couple of weeks ago during July 4th fireworks.

17. Where do you see your life 5 years from now?
Happy. :) Hopefully another baby by then, Noah finally talking and doing much better, and a lucrative photography business.

fiddlyfart with a side of honesty

Wow.
Even though I knew people loved us, and especially our little Noah, the response to my sharing the news was... well... wow. I just want to say thanks. As soon as I hit "publish"; the comments, emails, FB messages, etc all came flooding in. I don't know why it shocked me so much, but it did. People I haven't seen or heard from in ages, sharing their stories and pledging their support. People hooking me up with their friends via FB, because this particular person's child also has autism. Friends sending me invites to festivals and support groups. People offering their encouragement to my family. It made me a little teary hearing all of the sweet things they had to say about not only Noah, but myself.
Sometimes a girl just needs to hear a nice compliment from someone besides her husband and mom. You know what I mean? It's great when your mom says your beautiful, but she's your mom. Of course she's going to say that. But when that guy you've been crushing on hard (in this case, my husband when we were 15) admits to his buddy that he thinks you have nice legs, then it makes its way through the friend vine back to you? Suddenly, you feel like a supermodel... all while feeling slightly self-conscious about your legs now.

Anyway, I just really really wanted to say thank you to everyone.

But I also wanted to make it clear that I didn't "come out of the autism closet", as I phrased it to my friend, because I was looking for people to react the way they did. I wasn't asking for pity or all of the amazing words our friends sweetly offered us.
The reason I decided to write about it is because I've been wanting to share our journey here.
This will definitely not become an "autism blog", but if this is a for real diagnosis for Noah, then it will be a part of our lives. And to hide that? Seems silly. And disingenuous. I want to get how I feel about it out in the open, because that's how I process stuff. I want to document when Noah responds to a question or makes a friend... even if it all happens later than other toddlers.

***

We met some friends at a park on Tuesday. It's Spring Break here for public schools, so the place was packed out. Kids.Were.Everywhere. Noah gets a little overwhelmed in large, crowded scenarios. Sometimes his "red flags" become more obvious in these situations.
But he surprised me. He ran around, in the middle of the action, and played with all the other kids. He climbed through tunnels, went down slides, and giggled when other kids ran around him. He ignored the mulch (his go-to sensory tool he obsesses over when we're out) and actually played on the playground.
A little girl that's in his class at church recognized him when we walked in and shouted, "Noah's here!!" Noah has never really acted as if he notices other kids that I'd consider to be his friends. But hearing toddlers get excited when Noah comes around? Makes me happy. He's the kid that other kids remember, and I think that's really going to come in handy later on.

***


I bought Kelle Hampton's new book, Bloom. It came out on Tuesday and that morning, after the park, I ran and grabbed it. I was originally going to wait until we went to the beach in a couple of weeks and read it there. But I couldn't wait. I decided I'd pace myself... read a little bit every other day... that way I'd have some left to read when we got there.
I should've known better. By that night, I was at chapter 7.
Although Noah doesn't have Down syndrome, I found myself relating to some of the sentiments she wrote. Like how she originally felt about therapy:


     "...when four therapists show up at your house at once to evaluate your baby. And one is pulling her arms and testing her reflexes, mumbling scores for each reaction while another who's set up a makeshift office at your living room chair is typing it all in. And you see the way your baby's head is a little floppy and how she doesn't turn to look at the bell that's being jingled outside her left ear and, although the therapist is quietly and professionally rattling off these number scores without alarm, you know d*** well that '2' and '3' aren't the winning numbers.
     And while, at this point, you have no idea that these therapists will later become your friends and will love your baby and that someday, you won't even frantically clean up your living room before they arrive - at this very moment, you want to cry and make a big scene, kicking paperwork and screaming, 'For the love of God, leave my baby alone, take your portable office and your laptop and these d*** bells and books and get the hell out of my happy house because I didn't sign up for this club and certainly, you've come to the wrong place.'"

When professionals were showing up regularly to our home to evaluate Noah... his speech, his eye contact, his cognitive skills; when a pediatrician recommended we take him for genetic testing; when we had random people mentioning "autism" around us; when I felt like everyone in his world was analyzing him instead of loving him; when my baby sat in the corner and had broken heart-ed tears trickling down his cheeks because he couldn't understand why the SLP wouldn't blow bubbles with him anymore... all those times I fought back the urge to tell everyone to leave my beautiful, perfect, tender hearted, sweet baby boy the heck alone. To take their boring toys, their MCHATS, their pamphlets and get the heck outa my house.
But I didn't do that. I knew they were trying to help, and I knew that Noah needed it. And when I saw the realization hit the SLP's face that he wasn't pitching a fit and being too stubborn to say the word "bubbles"? That she know knew she had hurt his feelings... and this made her so sad? I knew that these people weren't "after" my baby... they sincerely wanted to help.

But it was nice reading that someone else had to fight those same feelings. That I'm normal.
If you haven't grabbed a copy, I'd recommend it. It's an easy read... and it has pictures! What grown up book has pictures these days? I think it's great. :)

***

Noah caught a cold this week. I'd blame it on one of those millions of kids at the park, but he started sneezing while we were there. He's pretty much been himself, just a little extra cuddly, which is so nice. Yesterday, we sat on the bed, cuddling and talking (his version of talking). No tv or other noise. Just us. It was really, really nice.

***

Hope everyone's having a fantastic week!
I'll be back with some Easter related stuff tomorrow!
Lots of egg dying and family time going on around here.

A Lil' Q & A

I saw the paper mama fill this out and thought it'd be fun to play along, especially since there's not a lot going on right now for me to write about. Noah's still coughing up a storm and using his sleeves as tissues. Oh the joys of raising a boy.

1. I started my blog because…

I actually started "blogging" (did anyone call it that back then?) back in my early college days using Livejournal. Much like here, I wrote about everything... college life, my relationship with Brad, etc. I took a break for a while, although I still wrote in an old-fashioned journal (I have like 15 of them that have built up over the years). I started blogging here after my friend kept encouraging me to join. I'm so glad I did! When I first started, it was less about writing and more about documenting. I wasn't sure if anyone was even reading! It was a great way to keep in touch with family and a few long lost friends. Then I started making more and more friends, found some I knew as a kid, and discovered a whole new community full of awesome people sharing ideas and supporting each other. It's basically like a diary where the whole world can read it and give you feedback. My inner teenage self just cringed at that last sentence.

2. One thing I love seeing on other blogs is…

Variety. Wit. A great sense of humor. Encouragement. Inspiration. Honesty. Beautiful pictures. I follow an incredibly random assortment... just like my real life. I'm friends with so many different kinds of people from all walks of life, and I like it that way. It keeps me grounded and helps me grow. I typically follow bloggers who I believe I'd be friends with IRL. As long as the person is being real, I enjoy reading them. I don't enjoy reading people who are obviously in it to "get big", to be the next kelle hampton or Ree Drummond. Thankfully, the majority of authors I find are in it just to share their story, interests, and experiences. If they become a "bigger blogger" in the process? It's only because others realized just how cool they are too. :)

 

3. Something I love about blogging…

I've loved meeting others that I normally wouldn't have met if it weren't for the internet. I love seeing how others live life, how they cope with challenges, and getting a couple of laughs in between. It's also been nice to offer support and prayers and all that to people who need it. After pouring out your heart to a bunch of people you've never met in real life before and have them email/comment with sweet words of encouragement? It's the next best thing to a hug.

4. Favorite blog posts of mine are…

Oh gosh, I don't think I've ever done this before. This took me a long time to decide. Because really, I love all of my posts for different reasons. I love the ones right after Brad and I got married, when we went to Cancun, and especially the ones with Noah. The ones where he learns to walk, gets his cranial band, eats his first solids, his birthdays, etc. But those could go on and on, so these are the ones I chose that would be more fun for others to read:

- Apparently everyone got a kick out of the Accent Vlog I did a while back, which actually kind of surprised me. So there's that one.

- The Pregnancy Weight Gain guest post is one of my favorites.

- Noah's Happy Dance... I still go back and watch it when I need a laugh. Promise it's one of the cutest things you've ever seen.

- When we had to sell my car and Noah finally got his cranial band. Good times.

- Noah's birth story

- When the roaches attacked Brad

5. Something my friends in real life know about me that I’ve never before mentioned on my blog…

I'm a better listener than talker... although I've gotten better at the talking/opening-up part over the years. I'm sometimes too trusting of people. Also, I'm really goofy... often unintentionally.

6. My new favorite blogs to read are…

- Lil Blue Boo - she's not super new to me, but she's definitely turned into a favorite over the last couple of months or so. She's currently fighting off cancer, and she has got to be the strongest woman I've ever seen going through something like this. Oh, and the video where she shaves her head? Ugh. Tear-jerkingly beautiful. Check her out.

- First Team Cut - This one belongs to a good friend of mine. We grew up together. He blows the whole "athletes are all dumb" stereotype out of the water. The guy is a great writer. He's had several blogs, and this is his most recent where he discusses (in a hilarious way) the life of working at a restaurant.

- Life After I "Dew" I honestly have no idea how I missed this one. We follow a lot of the same people and have a few (she's obviously way more popular than me) of the same followers. So why I just now ran across her blog, I don't know. But she's great.

- Bower Power Again, how I was clueless about her for so long? No clue.

7. Some things I tend to avoid doing on my blog are…

Being boring. HA, just kidding.
I don't know? I like to keep the whining/griping to a minimum if I can. And no bashing or super controversial topics. I don't really think about it, though. I just write.

soapbox moment: giving credit where it's due

I'm not a very preachy person. In fact, I kind of subscribe to the whole, "you do your thing, I'll do mine, and we can meet in the middle" philosophy. If I'm asked, I'll tell you my opinion. If I think it might save your life, then I'll speak up. Other than that, I tend to keep my mouth shut. Nobody likes a preachy-Patty.

However, I keep seeing this recurring problem online lately that's starting to really grate on my nerves. Maybe it's just my inner English/Lit geek in me coming out?
By now, just about everyone and their grandma has heard about Pinterest. I absolutely adore Pinterest. For years, I've done my own version... clipping pictures, saving images/links/tutorials to my computer for later. Heck, my entire "wedding book" was filled with pictures I loved. It helped my florist, hairstylist, makeup artist, etc be able to see exactly what I was envisioning. With Pinterest, there's no more clipping. Just pin it. It's a lot less messy, at least in the I-hot-glued-my-finger-again way.

There are all kinds of debates going on right now about Pinterest. Lots of etsy people are upset, because people are pinning their products as "DIY". Others are wondering if it's even legal to just take images from anywhere and keep them for yourself. I understand their concern, but that's not really what I'm getting on my soapbox about.

My issue? Sourcing.
Ideally, people are pinning images from their original websites. For example, if you pin a recipe image, it's not going to do anyone any good if it doesn't lead directly back to the original place you found it. I mean, you can't make it if you don't have the recipe. If there's not an accurate source? It's plagiarism, in my book. Think about it like this.
You post a picture of your family on your blog. One that you took.
Someone sees it and likes that particular pose or backdrop or whatever. So they pin it. It will lead back to your blog if someone else pins it, and so on.
But what if they didn't get it from your blog? What if they searched "family photos" on Google and pinned it straight from there? The source link is now Google. So your family photo that you took is floating around on the internet, and nobody knows it belongs to you.

If someone did that with a quote from a book or, even worse, included a phrase that wasn't theirs in a term paper? They'd be in some big trouble.

So here's my point. If you post an image on your blog that you got from Pinterest? Source it. Link to its original owner. What if it's a free printable? Give your readers the opportunity to print it for themselves! Not just think you're super clever for designing something that you didn't design and wish they had something like it.

Example A.

(no source)

"Look at these great Christmas planning printables!"

See? Annoying.

You can't print them yourself. And even worse?

The original creator doesn't get any credit.

Example B.

(with source)

"Look at these great printables I found on Pinterest!

Click here to get your own!

See? It's not difficult, and it's just good etiquette.

If you were writing a book, you would source your quotes or any ideas that weren't originally yours.

Do the same with your blog.

Be respectful of other people's work.

If you don't know the original source, then say so. Ask if anyone does know, and if they respond, correct it. But don't let someone else's image/creation/photography/quote/etc keep floating around without giving them proper credit.

And this concludes our Monday morning sermon.

Amen.

For more on this:

Pinterest: Etiquette

Pinterest, Inspiration, Copying, and the Whole Ethics Thing

Prying Control from Your Cold, Cramped Hands

ps. I know I'm guilty of doing this, way back before I knew better; I wish someone had pointed it out to me. And this isn't to say I'll always be perfect about my sourcing. But I think being aware and doing your best to do the right thing by crediting others with their work is definitely a good goal to have. Also... and BIG also... this is certainly not directed at anyone in particular. It's just something I've noticed on a lot of blogs lately. Carry on. :)