Living with Autism

(I really don't know where I'm going with this. I just needed to write, vent, and process. It's hard being a source of strength 24/7. So this is me being real. Please be nice, because this is my heart.)

I rarely ever blog about how autism has affected our home.
I don't even go there most days. This is just life for us, and 90% of the time, I don't even think about Noah being "different" or "autistic". I try to embrace the quirks and unique challenges that come with the territory, firmly planting a smile on my face when people ask me about it. Of the two of us, Brad is the borderline pessimist realist, so I assume the role of cheerleader. He worries, and I reassure. That's just how we work.
Brad worries Noah will never do the whole, "Daddy, you're home!" thing when he walks in the door from work. I celebrate the tiny victories, like when Noah says "Momma" for the first time in almost a year. Or when, at almost 3, he finally gets the courage to climb up the ladder at the playground. It's just how our personalities click.

But some days?
Some days I don't feel like being the cheerleader.
Some days I listen to other moms complain about their typically developing toddler and the normal challenges that come with that age. Challenges like getting them to be quiet for 5 minutes. Or that they won't eat their broccoli. Or that they're almost 2 and "still not potty-trained".
And I think... seriously?
You have no clue.

Usually I'm okay. I don't get mad at the moms for whining that their kids "wwwooon't stttooop taaaalking!!" Their struggles are just as real as mine. Just different. Looking at it that way keeps me from getting down (and consequently wanting to throw things at the computer. haha).
However, being the age that I am, most of my friends have young kids now. My Facebook and blog feed are filled, daily, with the latest thing their baby has said or done. How cute it is that they pronounce words funny or say such witty things. Pictures of them blowing out their birthday candles and announcing what they want for gifts this year. Most of them much younger than Noah.

And I ache.

Many times I take breaks from reading blogs or status updates on Facebook. There are days when I just can't handle any more.
I don't delve into our daily struggles... hearing words like "low tone", "sensory processing disorder", or "poor eye contact". While most moms are worried about potty training, we're still trying to get Noah to respond to his name.

Noah won't blow bubbles, much less a birthday candle.
I go throughout my day, having a conversation with him... yet not. I talk and talk and talk, almost as if he actually does talk back. Like you would do with a baby, trying to encourage speech. Do you have any idea how old that gets? I've been talking to myself for three years straight. I'm going to be the crazy old lady who talks to herself at the grocery store.
I'll ask if he wants to watch Thomas or George. Or if he'd rather have an apple or a banana. Usually, all simple choice questions are met with a blank stare.
His diet is extremely limited. He refuses so many foods that I know he likes. Food he used to gobble down as a one-year-old. You think it's annoying when your 5-year-old refuses to eat broccoli? Try having them live off of goldfish crackers and a tomato, every day (not Noah, but another kid our coordinator works with).  That's life with a child with autism. Trying to do all kinds of ridiculous dances and techniques to get them to at least try typical kid favorites like watermelon or even chicken nuggets! 
Grocery shopping is a challenge, because I never know if he'll actually eat his normal staples or not. One week, he'll be obsessed with apples. The next? He tosses them like a baseball. Part of it is a normal toddler thing, declaring independence and all that. But some of it is sensory-based... suddenly he refuses all things cold, because he can't handle it anymore.

His sleep patterns are odd. I use to think I was doing something wrong, but now I understand. It's not a stubborn thing or my being a bad parent. It's total sensory stuff. He wakes up in the middle of the night and seeks that sensory input. Other nights he'll wake up crying for no apparent reason. The other night when this happened, I let him sleep in our bed for the first time since he was a baby. And while I don't plan to make this a habit (does any parent plan for it to be a habit?), it was really nice. 
You think it's tough when your kid won't go to bed at 8pm one night? Try 5:30 in the morning. 
I try not to plan appointments in the mornings, because I never know what Noah will do with his sleep. He may go to bed at 10pm, sleep all night, and wake up happy after 10-12 hours. Or? He could sleep 6 hours, wake up at an ungodly hour, and want to run around and jump, crashing around 10am. Or like last week, he could stay up ALL night and sleep till noon. There's no rhyme or reason.

Kids with autism have limited imaginations, so while other kids are pretending to be animals or their favorite superhero, I'm just happy if Noah is playing with a toy in its correct way (which he's doing now! woohoo!).
 
Basically, everything I thought I knew about raising kids? HAHAHA.
I thought I had it all figured out. Everything I used successfully on my younger siblings, nieces and nephews, and kids I babysat for? Doesn't apply. Special needs laughs in the face of expert parenting techniques and books. Because they're all different. Each child, especially with autism, is different. They're affected differently, and therefore each technique may or may not work.

Life is filled with questions.
Will this type of therapy work? Should I go private, public, or home school? Why won't he eat his favorite foods anymore? How will I get him over his cold-food aversion? How are we going to afford this therapy bill? Will he ever talk? Will he have friends? What if he can't live independently when he's older? How will this all look when he's 18?

And don't even get me started on his therapies and education. Things that come naturally for most children, we have to spend an insane amount of money to help him achieve. The majority of insurance companies don't cover therapies, even though it's essential. The photography business I started? It's not because I was bored at home. It's a passion of mine, yes. But it's also a form of income for us. I use it to pay bills. It's not frivolous, fun money that I use to go shopping with. It's going towards my son's chances of living a normal, productive life.
We found a Christian school (incidentally, one connected to the same one I graduated from) that specializes in kids with autism, implementing ABA therapy as part of their curriculum. To have that in our area, where TEACCH rules (it's based out of Chapel Hill, so TEACCH is pushed heavily here), as part of the school is amazing. The only problem is that one year's tuition cost more than in-state college tuition. More than quadruple the rate of regular tuition. Yeah. We don't make that kind of money. Not yet at least. So those questions and worries flood my mind. Can I handle homeschooling him? Can we afford normal ABA therapy? Will they accept our application? Will it even help him? I spend countless hours researching, reading, talking to experts and other experienced moms... searching for answers and hope.
We throw what money we do have at people, in hopes that they'll be able to help our baby.
Our daily routine with Noah involves therapy techniques from sun-up to sun-down. Anything I learn from therapists or the good 'ol internet (reliable websites), I put to practice.

Everyone has an opinion about my child. What he should be eating, what therapy we should be implementing, what type of education he should receive... it's endless. I have a million different opinions flying at me from all sides, and it's not easy silencing them in order to figure out what's best for him.
While strangers and acquaintances are automatically drawn to him, they still look to me when he doesn't respond to them. They try to talk to him, and sometimes they think he's deaf. Especially if they see us signing to him.

Imagine having something different about your child, yet there's no definitive why. There's no cure. Treatments and successes vary with each child. There are no guarantees. You have no idea how thankful I am that Noah is at least healthy. That this is nothing fatal. I bow down to those strong mommas who deal with that kind of diagnosis every day. I have friends that deal with so much worse. And I'm sure they look at my struggles and think, "Seriously?" It's all so relative.

Don't get me wrong. I don't envy others' children. I adore my boy, inside and out, quirks and all. His attitude inspires me daily. It must be so frustrating not being able to communicate, yet he remains the most upbeat, sweet-hearted little guy.
He is my heart and soul, and that is why I plaster the smile on my face, even when I don't feel like it. Every minute spent in therapy sessions, every tear shed (by all of us), every nosey question answered... all of it has been worth it. I've grown so much as a person through all of this. He's taught me how to truly choose joy in challenging circumstances. I've learned how to be a true advocate for my him. How to love beyond words and the obvious actions. How to stretch my patience out just a teeny bit further. Because I know he doesn't understand. He doesn't understand that he lives in a different world than we do. He has no idea how much we worry and pray for him. All he knows is that he wants to watch Curious George, play with his Thomas railway, and be tickled and held by his mommy and daddy. His innocence is refreshing, and his smile? Contagious.
I just want to freeze him like this, so I can hold him forever. Prevent him from ever being lonely. Protect him from others who won't understand. But all I can do is help him learn and grow, and to model the character qualities I want him to pick up. And then hand the rest over to God. Trust that He'll do a much better job of loving and protecting him than I ever will. As fiercely as I love my baby, I know he's loved even more by Another. One who will never leave him.
I'm so so thankful for Noah.
And, yes, I have my moments where I need to vent. Where I come off a tad selfish and emotional. But ultimately? This has been one of the biggest blessings of my life.

                                                                      Source: s936.photobucket.com via Amanda on Pinterest

randomosity

- I've never had... fish sticks, potstickers, beer, cigarettes/cigars/drugs, fruitcake, and most sodas.

- Every once in a while, Brad will sit down next to me while I show him all of the cool stuff I've found on Pinterest. And he actually acts interested and makes comments about them. He's the best husband ever.

(couldn't find original source)

- Noah decided that his train will go much faster if he just picks up the pieces and runs.

- A friend of mine (former coworker) brought me a picture that was taken of Brad and I at her daughter's wedding last August. It was a good picture. But the best part? It was obvious that I'm much thinner now. I have no idea where I'm at weight-wise (Noah broke our scale and we haven't sprung for a new one yet). But just the fact that I could see a difference lets me know this whole WW thing is working.
- I'm starting to get annoyed by the number of people buying nice DSLR cameras and immediately decide to start a photography business cold-turkey. They have zero experience, no idea how to even start a business (not to mention run one) , and the idea of shooting in manual mode sends them into a panic attack. They've yet to develop their own personal style, their taste level, and what they are and aren't willing to do in terms of photoshoots. They don't have a mentor... someone who is more seasoned and can give them pointers/criticism/suggestions when they need it. All they have is a really expensive piece of equipment and assume they can make some money off of it.
Why does this bother me? Because owning my own photog biz is actually a dream of mine. *whew* There, I said it. I haven't ever confessed this before, because... well, I don't know. I think it's because I don't want to get grouped in with the other amatuer photographers that think they're ready to run a business when they're not. Even though I've been learning, researching, and taking an insane amount of pics for almost 2 years... I know I'm not ready to be a *P*hotographer. In the photog world, I'm still a baby. I need more practice. More time. More experience. And maybe more than two lenses, ya think? :)
Sure, I totally believe people can have a natural talent, but there are so many aspects to consider besides just the "I can take a pretty picture" part. Even pro photographers will admit that they've never stopped learning; after 20 years, they're still growing. No one wants to pay people for crappy work, where you're taking 1000 pictures and only getting 10 good ones. And you better believe I want to give people their money's worth. I don't want to show up and act like I have no clue what I'm doing. Thankfully, I have lots of friends and family who are willing to let me practice on them. It's also the only thing I've been passionate about in a very long time. I have a hard time putting the dang camera down, just because I love capturing moments so much. I've found myself talking the ears off of my husband/mom/total strangers about apertures, ISO, bokeh, etc. I have to remind myself that they, more than likely, don't care and I'm boring them to tears.
But assuming that because I have a fancy camera, I can be a professional photographer? That's like saying I can make a 5-star meal and open my own restaurant because I just bought a super fancy stove.
The passion is there. The skill just needs to be developed more, and I know that. So to watch all of these people who just bought a new camera go ahead and file for a business license? It kind of crushes my spirits a little.

via

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tornado and parents

We just had a big tornado warning. The three of us, plus the dogs, hung out in the corner of our garage (it was too late to go under the house) where nothing would hit us.
My father-in-law called to let us know about the tornado, to make sure we were prepared and safe. We turned on the news to see the direction (which was headed straight for our house) and times. I saw it was supposed to hit my family after us, so I called to let them know.

They knew. Because they were watching the news.
They knew.
They knew that I would most likely be alone with Noah and a tornado was headed towards us. We never watch the news, so there's no way I would've seen it coming.
And they didn't call.
Not one word.

I'm so freakin annoyed at this. Brad's dad? He calls every time something's up. My parents? Not a peep. Which is really weird, considering how overprotective my mom usually is. Her response? She told me to call her tomorrow so that she can fill me in on my little sister's 8th grade graduation. Clearly, she wasn't concerned.

Ugh.
I get that we're adults and all, but when Noah's grown and I see something life threatening is headed his way? You better believe I'm calling, whether I think he already knows or not.

It's alright mom. Our home was flattened and the dogs flew away, but no biggie. We'll make sure we call to find out how Madison's graduation went tomorrow.

*We're fine. A tornado never actually touched down, but the strong winds and circulating clouds passed right over us. Scary stuff.

because roaches and mice weren't enough.

So, the pest control guy came this morning.
What is it with these people? Why do they all have to be so odd? I mean, I guess it takes a "special" kind of person to want to crawl around with rats and roaches. But still. I don't really care to look at your tattoos, hear about how you accidentally killed your parrot, or how you were in Desert Storm. I just want you to get rid of the bugs and mice.
But he did redeem himself a little. He told me he thought I looked no older than 20. So I guess I shouldn't complain too much.

Last night, Brad and I sat down and looked at roach pictures. We definitely have the American kind... which is actually the best ones to have. They rarely live indoors. They live outside, but occasionally will show up indoors for food. They like moist places (which with all the storms lately, that explains a lot). And since it's the American kind, just because we saw 3 at once doesn't mean we're infested. He said if he walked in and saw them all over the place, we'd have a problem. Or if they were in our cabinets/pantry/closets. But they're not, so that's good. They also don't carry any diseases or anything. As for the hole in the wall, turns out the last people who lived here did a crappy patch job. He doesn't think the roaches could've dug through that, so it was most likely a mouse. But we're positive no mice have ended up in our house, because we've never seen any evidence of it. If ya catch my drift. Brad patched it up last night (and did a good job this time). Nothing's coming through there ever again.
As for the mice, we're doing the right thing by continuing to set traps. We're still catching them, so that's good. The pest guy informed us that mice are stupid. And practically blind. Plus, it'll soon be way too hot to live in our attic and garage, so they should be leaving on their own soon anyway. Which is really great news. He treated both inside and outside (non-toxic), so hopefully we won't be seeing any more roaches anytime soon.

Brad didn't sleep a wink last night.
He said every time he closed his eyes and started to drift, all he would see were roaches. So he was up all night. I slept, but I definitely had roaches in my dreams. I dreamt I was in Noah's room counting them. Blech.

Did I mention that our roof is leaking? And a piece of our house blew off in the last storm and ended up in our neighbor's yard (on the OTHER side). Because mice and roaches just weren't enough. Our insurance guy arrived this afternoon and let us know that the repair will be less than our deductible, so we get to pay out-of-pocket for it. Yay.
Oh, and to top it all off?
Target is ruining our Easter. Yes, technically, they're closed on Easter, which is nice. Brad was supposed to also have Saturday off, but turns out they need him. So he'll be working overnight Saturday night into Sunday morning. Which means no church for us. I'd take Noah alone, but that's no fun. And Brad's already told me his feelings would really be hurt if we left him on Easter (even if he's unconcious for it). So yeah. Retail sucks. The end.
Also, the lds missionaries came by yesterday. Not that this is neccesarily a bad thing. They're usually super nice, but yesterday was not good timing. Brad had torn the house to pieces, in search of roaches. The dogs were barking at them right outside Noah's window during his nap. And since I had gone to the Dr, I happened to be wearing a dress, which was a little lower in the front than what I normally wear (pregnancy had a slight effect on the chestal area. not enough to leave people gawking, of course. but enough to make me feel less teenage boyish). But I went to the lady doctor, and it was the only dress I had that didn't add an extra 3 lbs when I wore it. So yeah. I wasn't self-concious until I opened the door and saw the tags. Crap. Great time to dress like a floozy. At least I had a cardigan on over it.

So by the end of the night, Brad and I just wanted to sit in a corner and cry. The last two days have just been so frustrating. We ended up treating ourselves to McDonalds. I was smart and kept it under 500 calories. But I'm pretty sure eating dinner (much less McD's) at midnight may not have been the best dieting decision.

Also, we were going to be going to a Springfest tonight with some of Brad's old coworkers. But now that massive storm that has rocked the rest of the country is supposed to hit us tonight. So it's not looking too good.

*sigh*

Silver lining?
Well, we got a new AC unit. Woohoo! So at least we're not having to endure all of this ridiculousness while sweating.

Sorry for all the griping. Happy post tomorrow, how's that?

Hope everyone's having a great day!

mdiognsiodgewghiuhvn;weoghn

Yeah. Well. Since I don't really curse (at least not out loud), that's the title I've got. Because that's pretty much what's going through my brain right now.

Today, I went out for a Dr's appointment. I purposely made it for a day that Brad would be off of work. That way, he could watch Noah, and although this isn't quite considered a fun day out for me, I'd at least have an hour completely alone. I could listen to whatever music I wanted. I didn't have to worry if I had enough diapers or snacks. Nobody but myself to worry about. I shut my phone off and tried to enjoy the drive.
After the appointment, I turned on my phone. I called Brad to see how Noah was doing. Brad answered and asked, "Are you just now getting out of the dr's?" I said yeah.
He responded with, "Get the H home now..." My heart dropped. I panicked and wanted to know what was happening. I'd pictured Noah with a broken arm or his head bleeding profusely or something terribly dramatic.
He then answered in a completely freaked out tone, "We have cockroaches in our house."

Um? What was he expecting me to actually do once I got home? As if my being there would magically make the big bad bugs go away?
I mean, yes, it's flippin' gross, and I know had it been me, I would've panicked too. But compared to the previous image of Noah in a cast? This was nothing. Bugs? I can handle. I don't like them, but I never saw Arachnophobia, so I don't have any horror movie images running through my head when I see them.

So I drove home, with him periodically calling to give me a play-by-play on if he saw another one and "we're not staying here tonight" and "What the blankety blank is this blankety blanker doing in our house..."

*sigh*

Is this what happens after you get married and have kids? Like, you get 45 minutes to yourself only to find that the house is completely caving in and being overthrown by rodents and insects? That your kid hasn't been put to bed yet, because your husband is too freaked out to leave the room, so your toddler has been quarantined with crackers and water until mom gets home? Really?

And what the heck is happening to our home??
Y'all ready for the story on how he found the nasty boogers in the first place? He was going to do a massive cleaning for me while I was out (best of intentions). He moved the china cabinet in our dining room back, so that he could vacuum behind it. Only to find a hole in the wall. With a roach in it. BLEEEEEECH. Yeah, total horror flick scene. And there was more than one. There were three.
He freaked and called an exterminator, promising to pay extra and donate a kidney if he'd just get here tonight. Unfortunately, it was already 2:45, and there's no way that was happening. While he was on the phone, he let out a nice girly scream, along with a "HOLY CRAP, THEY'RE COMING OUT OF THE WALLS!!" The guy on the other line was all, "Sir are you alright?!?" Good times.

Here's the thing. We're not dirty, filthy people! I swear. I know I posted a couple of pictures last weekend of a messy house, but that was mostly toys. And a few dishes. And Noah throwing his lunch on the floor. Our house is not regularly atrocious, nor does it resemble anything you'd find on that Hoarders show. I have a thing with dirty floors. I hate walking barefoot and feeling crumbs, so I vacuum daily. If not twice a day. I mop once, if not twice, a week. We're often the first choice of out-of-town relatives to crash, because we keep things clean. So why are we being overrun by vermin???

Brad is so freaked out by this whole situation. The man does not do bugs. Mice, sure. Spiders and roaches and all that? Nope. Not his thing.

So thank goodness, the exterminator is coming in the morning. Let them handle it.

Ugh. Homeownership is overrated.

cyber bullies

Ok, so really, this post has nothing to do with me. I'm just not popular enough. But I can't help but notice a not-so-nice trend popping up in the blog world. Blog Bullying.

It seems that the more popular you become (more followers and such), the more likely you are to be a target. A couple of my friends have received anon comments, emails, tweets, etc that were extremely rude and mean. My question is why?

One commenter made fun of my friend's kids. What the heck kind of person targets children?? Another blog friend was fussed at for taking too many pictures of her baby. Another person, in response to that post, said someone sent her an anon email telling her to stop talking about her kid's ear infection.
And the extremely popular bloggers like nienie and Kelle Hampton I'm sure get the nastiest of the nasty. I've seen some of Kelle's, and nienie is smart enough to keep her comments closed. So if people are really wanting to be mean, they have to put some real effort in.

Anyways, I guess I just don't quite get it.
Why people feel the need to bully others? Say nasty things? Judge their mothering, their beliefs, their opinions, their intellect, their looks? What's the point? What are these people hoping to achieve?

The only thing I can think of is that these people have some serious issues. Maybe they're experiencing some severe hurt or loss, causing them to lash out at others whose lives (appear) to be just dandy (right now). Either way, it doesn't make it right.

So big 'ol fat meanies out there??
Go get some help.
Or just stop reading blogs that you don't agree 100% with.
Or maybe get some ice cream, turn on the Care Bears, and try to remember what it was like to be a nice person.
But please leave my friends alone.
Thanks.

not quite me

I'm having a sort of "off" day. Not really myself.
Just annoyed at a lot of things, but not one thing in particular.

It may have something to do with the fact that in the last 5 days, I've seen my husband for maybe like an hour, if you combine all those 15-20 mins together.
His work has been crazy busy lately. The guy above him quit right before a big transition (yeah, thanks for that...). So he's got double the workload and has been coming home really tired. We're talkin' like 12, 13, 14 hour days. So when he is home? He's awake long enough to say hello, eat something, then go to bed.

I get annoyed at the behavior of some people. Nobody in particular. Just a collective annoyance. Closed-mindedness, stubborness, rudeness, vanity, self-righteousness, pride. All those lovely qualities that all make us want to take a sledge hammer to something. One of my friends took it out on her dinner today. Apparently, meat mallets are good therapy. I may have to make a run to Target today.

Or maybe it's the temperature in my house that's throwing me off. It's 82 in here.
Our AC isn't even running. We're supposed to be getting it replaced next week, but that's not helping my mood right now. Thank goodness it's cool enough out to leave windows and doors open.

Oh yeah. And Noah has refused a nap today.
We visited the grandparents earlier (my grandparents, his great-grandparents). His schedule has gotten a lot better, and I was determined to get home before he fell asleep in the car. But no such luck. He slept for about 15 minutes. I tried to transfer him as delicately as possible. But you try being delicate with a 32 lb kid that's the size of your upper body.
Still, usually I can do it. If he wakes up a little, he'll typically fall right back to sleep. An hour later, and he was jumping around in his crib, playing with his teddy bear, and just being goofy. Not the least bit tired anymore. Since then, he's eaten twice, gone on a walk, rode in the wagon, played inside, played outside, looked at books, and watched Curious George. Still going strong. And now he's asking for a banana.
I need my break.
And not to say I'm not completely thankful for everything Brad does for us. It's a total blessing that he works so hard so I can stay home, he helps when he can, and takes us out on his nights off. So I really can't complain. I'm just having one of those days where I'd like to pretend all I have to worry about is me. And what I might have for dinner. And when the next Kenny Chesney concert is. Should I go shopping or stay in and watch Modern Family. Things I did before I was married and a mom. Man that sounds so selfish, doesn't it? But really, everyone needs a "weekend", right? A chance to break away from the normal job and relax. Do something different.
Again, not that I don't adore my family and all, but just a break from the monotony would be nice. You know, just going like an hour or two without having to wipe someone else's rear end?

Anyways. I'm not usually such a whiner. Sorry 'bout that.

So I'll end this on a positive. How's that?

Things I'm HAPPY (insert super big cheesy fake smile here) about today:
- my tulips are blooming
- the wind feels awesome
- I have a really cute kid
- my husband has tomorrow off of work
- growing my own food
- my shorts from last year are way to big on me now
- Modern Family coming on tonight
- bananas.... oh yeah....

rant alert

I don't know WHAT it is about today that's making people be so darn grumpy and weird.

If I have an opinion different than yours and voice it, don't tell me to "relax". Unless you see caps, a bunch of !!!, or any specific phrases that hint towards anger... then I'm relaxed. Plus, it's just so darn condescending. It's almost like saying "relax (ie. stop acting crazy)" when you're being totally rational. Usually it means that person just can't handle someone having an alternate opinion from theirs and discuss it without thinking you're out to get them. And really, the majority of people that tell me to relax (because, seriously, I'm one of the most laid back people you'll ever meet), seem to have a hard time relaxing themselves. So whatever.
(ps. Brad knows that if he really wants me to not be relaxed, all he has to do is act as if I'm actually freaking out. Works every time.)

It's so funny how people react when I finally open my mouth. Anytime I voice an opinion or make my beliefs clear, people freak. And I do mean "freak" in the actual sense of the word. ;) I asked Brad once why this is. Somehow he's able to say whatever the heck he wants and nobody cares. He can mean it or he can be joking. But if I do the same? People get all in a tizzy and want to debate with me. Brad said it's because people take what I say seriously, even if I'm joking, because when I say something, people pay attention. But really, the only ones that get upset are usually the ones that don't really know me and assume the worst about me.

***

And Christians. If you really want to help share the gospel and reach others for Christ, being rude and disrespectful really isn't the way to go. Sometimes it's easy to get all caught up in the Cause instead of the purpose. People want to be right. But when it turns people away? Definitely not productive.
I hate feeling like I have to defend people in my own religion. It's so irritating. You know how many times I've had to explain that Christians don't really hate Mormons? And then some crazy idiot comes along and starts preaching to a Mormon stranger (that's a friend of mine) about the evils of polygamy. Sheesh. Again... being right vs being loving.
Oh, and fyi, if Mormon missionaries come to your door, there's no need to turn all the lights off and hide... or get a gun. They won't hurt you, I promise. If you're really against what they have to say, do what my mom does. She welcomes them in her home, gives them food/water, is totally silly and chatty with them... but she politely tells them she's not interested.
Any of you Christians enjoy being randomly approached by an atheist out to prove everything you believe is stupid? Does it make you want to give up all of your beliefs? Or does it just solidify the fact that you don't want to have anything to do with them?
I understand there's such a thing as righteous anger. But you have to be careful not to let it turn into unrighteous anger. It's a very fine line.
Mean people suck.
Love. It goes a long way.

And this whole stupid billboard fight up in New York... wha???
Nothing says Christmas like a (im)proper public fight between atheists and Christians. And don't the majority of atheists basically not believe in any religious figure? No organized religion, etc? Yet, the ones funding these expensive billboards are the American Atheist Organization. So basically they don't believe in organized religion, yet they're organized. It's an organization against religious beliefs. Right. Ok.
I don't care if you don't want to celebrate Jesus' birth. Sure, I'd love it if you did. The more the merrier and all that. But I'm not going to make a big stink if you tell me "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas". Or if your kids get more excited about Santa than the nativity scene. I know you don't mean to offend anyone personally.
So what's the deal? Is it hurting you that Christians are celebrating something that you don't believe in? Because it doesn't hurt me that Jews are celebrating Hanakkah.
And on that note... why just target Christianity during the holidays? If you're really wanting to get people's attention, go target Hanakkah (please don't, I'm only being facetious). Or Santa. Do you believe Santa is real? If not, why not post a billboard in Times Square saying that he's a total myth? I bet you'll win a lot of "converts" that way.

Anyone else getting John Lennon's "Imagine" playing in their head?

Anyway, I just think that so many people get way too caught up in making a statement that they forget that people have feelings. People can get hurt in the process.

Also, if you're going to preach tolerance, it has to be extended to everyone. For example, you want people to be tolerant of the more unique individuals, then you have to stretch that tolerance to the ones you have a hard time accepting. If you're more left winged and want conservatives to be tolerant of others with different lifestyles, cultures, etc... then you'd better be willing to accept the fact that this includes you accepting them as well. You can't preach tolerance and refuse it to a group you "don't get".
As for me? I don't preach tolerance. It's pretty much impossible. There's no way people are going to be okay with every single person's beliefs, perspectives, life choices, etc. Sure, you can be nice to their face, but as soon as they walk off, you'll just talk about how messed up that person is. Is that really tolerance? Instead, I encourage niceness. It's not hard to be nice to people. Smile. Tell them you hope they have a great day. Basically, act like you work at Chick-Fil-A. You know how they're always so overly nice and helpful? People generally like it when you're nice.

Yep. Love.
Goes a long way.