Hayden Paul

So it's been a while. I actually really needed a break from this blog. I had become overwhelmed and sad by it actually. But I missed it.

I tried writing elsewhere, retreated to a private instagram and FB account, and it wasn't the same. This blog is a sort of home for me. It holds all of my sweetest memories of Noah, our journey, and some funny times in between. It makes me happy to write here. So I'm back. I will probably keep things simple. Just documenting our lives, hopefully sooner rather than later. I need the outlet, especially now.

A lot has changed since my last post.
We ended up adding another boy to our little family.

So without further adieu, here's his story...

***

Tuesday night, around 11:30, I started having pretty regular contractions. They were about 10 minutes apart, but they weren't really getting much worse. The funny thing is that it took me a while to figure out I was actually having contractions. It felt more like someone was sitting on my chest. There wasn't much pain involved, just a weird tightness. Since I was induced with Noah, the only real contractions I'd felt before were insanely intense (thanks Pitocin...). Our buddy Chase was on standby anyway, just in case we'd have to go to the hospital. I really hated the idea of making him drive to our house so late just for me to say, "Whoops, false alarm!" He was super sweet though, and he reassured me that it was better to be safe than sorry. Plus he'd rather spend the night than have to come at 3am. :)

We all stayed up late talking, while both the boys kept asking how I was doing. The contractions started to taper off, and I finally got comfortable enough to fall asleep around 3am.

And then I woke up at 6am. Contractions were back, and they were getting stronger. I still didn't want to go in for a false alarm, so we hung around the house for a little while. Brad ran to McD's for breakfast and grabbed me a plain biscuit. I'd told him I didn't want anything, but I'm glad he made me eat. I would've been starving by the time I got to eat again. We called my OB's office, and they told us to go ahead and go to the hospital. Turns out my Dr was already there, so she said she'd check me when we arrived.

So we headed to Charlotte... a new system took over called Novant, but everyone from here still calls the hospital "Presby Main" (the big Presbyterian hospital close to downtown... and well, if you're not from here, you'll call it "uptown" haha). Basically everyone in my family was a "Presby baby", so that's where my babies will all be born hopefully.

Anyways...

We got to the triage place, where the nurse got me in a gown, I peed in a cup, all that medical stuff. She checked me, and I was only at 1.5cm, which is where I was at my last OB appointment. I was a little disappointed. No way did I want to go all the way down there for nothing. She also told me my blood pressure was a little high and I had a little protein in my urine (I'd had pre-eclampsia with Noah and had been fine up to this point with this baby). She suggested we spend the next little while walking around the hospital. If it really was labor, I'd progress. If not, the contractions would stop, and I'd get to go home.

So Brad and I walked the halls for a good two hours, stopping once for her to check me. I wanted to check out the nursery... you know, give me some motivation... but turns out, the nursery doesn't really exist there anymore. They now require all babies to room in with the parents, unless there's a legit reason they need to put the baby under observation of course. I love the new procedure, but I was still a little bummed not to see all the sweet babies lined up in their plastic cribs. After the second hour, I was feeling ridiculous. And frankly, I looked ridiculous. I was wrapped in two hospital gowns wearing my tennis shoes. Least unattractive outfit ever. I told Brad we were probably going to get sent home, and I felt like we'd wasted all that time. We came back to the room, and my OB followed us in shortly after. She checked me and cheerfully responded, "You're a 3!"

The triage nurse looked pretty shocked... I think she thought we'd be going home too. They prepped a room for me and got me moved pretty quickly. We spent the next couple hours in the L&D room just relaxing (well, sort of...). Lots of Farm Heroes Saga, instagram, etc. Smartphones should've been invented for this purpose alone a long time ago. Perfect distraction! Brad napped a little, and I chatted with my nurse. She was so amazing.

My OB came in a couple hours later to check on me. I hadn't progressed any, so she decided to go ahead and break my water for me. And of course, that got things moving fast! Right after she did that, they went ahead and got my epi put in. Somehow I think I ended up with every top doctor and nurse that night. He was the head of the anesthesiology department. Also, my OB was named among the top 20 most influential women in Charlotte not long ago. I really lucked out.

Anyway, after my water was broken, things really picked up. After that miscarriage over a year ago, I realized how fragile these little unborn lives can be. Every visit at the OB, I would pray for a heartbeat. My heart would fall in my stomach if it took her a minute to find his heartbeat. So when my contractions got stronger, and his heart rate would drop in response, I immediately began worrying and praying. Brad assured me he was okay, just to breathe and get plenty of oxygen to him. So I did. Unfortunately it wasn't enough though. The nurse and my OB weren't concerned, although they did continue to monitor it closely. But I was nervous. As his heart rate dipped dangerously low a few times, they decided to put me on oxygen. It definitely helped, which allowed me to relax some (as much as one can relax in active labor...). Both my nurse and OB were amazingly calm and reassuring through the whole thing.  Brad was awesome and talked me out of a panic attack as well. :)

I think it may have been about 45 minutes between when she broke my water and when it was time to push. He was definitely ready to meet us! It only took like 3 or 4 pushes, and he was here. Beautiful and perfect.

And my OB knows me too well. As soon as I had him, and she told me he was beautiful, her next words were, "You're skinny again!" hahaha.

Because Noah had a rough birth experience, I didn't get to hold him immediately. This time, they didn't hesitate to hand my baby to me. It really does make a difference. It took a few days for me to feel bonded to Noah, if I'm being perfectly honest. We didn't get to do immediate skin to skin, nor was I able to breastfeed. So to have this experience was absolutely amazing.

And with that, I'd like to introduce you to Hayden Paul.
Hayden, because we're 80's/90's kids and watched a million Coach episodes while I was pregnant. And Paul after Paul McCartney. ;)

The stats:

Born at 7:51pm

Weihjed 7 lbs 5.5 oz

Length 21"

Lately (with an 8 second clip of Noah singing!)

I've been so overwhelmed lately. It's not really just one thing either. It's lots of little things that have piled up and are making me feel like crawling into a corner and crying. Or inhaling an entire gallon of ice cream (which is why I haven't bought any...).
And I feel like I'm going to let somebody down. No one in particular. It just seems inevitable. If I focus on getting one thing done? Something else is going to suffer. For example, I'm doing pretty well trying to keep up with my business stuff. Photos are edited ahead of schedule, and I'm in the process of rebranding (which is stressful enough in and of itself...). But my house? Yeah, it looks like a family of 15 just ate at my house... then tried flushing an entire roll of toilet paper. And spilled veggie smoothie all over me. And picked at blue chalk, so there are little chalk bits on the floor. Oh, and the 15 people also decided to have a party all night long. Except those 15 people? They happen to be one toddler.

I just feel like there's not enough of me to go around.
I need like 3 more me's to make my life work out a little more smoothly (can I get an "Amen", mommas?!).

Noah had his IEP meeting Monday, and it went well. It's very laid back compared to what I've heard most meetings are like. His speech therapist wasn't even there for it. But I was happy with it overall. I think they sort of get a decent idea of where he's at. However, they're only with him for 30 minutes a week, so they don't get to see all of the successes we have at home. While I was there, I had Noah say his little phrases like, "Oh no, George!" and sing songs for them. They were stunned.

Seriously, where he is at this year compared to last year at this time? It's like having a completely different kid. He no longer lives like he's just existing in his own world, but he's present. He gives us spontaneous hugs and kisses. If I give him a choice between milk or water, he'll answer, "wa wa". If I give him simple directions, he's following them (for the most part... he IS still a toddler, after all. ha). He's added like 20 new words to his vocabulary in the last few weeks. I'm still waiting for "Ma-ma" to surface again. :)

Seeing as how the words are starting to come, we've decided to pay for private speech therapy, especially since school will be out soon. After next week, he wouldn't be getting anything until September. So after his IEP meeting, we had to run to the same place where his OT is at for a speech evaluation. Because he was sleep deprived, he wasn't quite on his A-game. But she did get a "ready, set, go!" out of him. :) I'm really excited about it, because she uses sensory integration as part of her speech therapy, which is perfect for him.

So that's where I've been. Add in a hospital visit for Brad a couple weeks ago (he's okay!), a much needed girls' night, Mother's Day, and Noah's sleep getting all messed up again... and well, that's why I haven't been blogging. Dude, I haven't even been reading blogs. I've missed my blog buds. :)

Hopefully I'll be back before another 2 weeks passes by.
And with that, I'll leave you with a quickie video of Noah singing. The song is from Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood (which, fyi, has been a total gift from God... his speech, social skills, and self-care skills have totally blossomed because of this show).

It goes, "I like you, I like you, I like you.... (then Noah finishes) Just the way you are!"

friday fiddlyfart

Brad and I are convinced that every night before he goes to bed, Noah plots new ways that he can destroy our house. New places to dump an entire bag of Baked Lays and crush into the carpet. Better techniques of pulling every cushion off the couches. Y'know, that kind of thing.

***

I'm usually pretty strict about Noah's diet, especially since he's such a picky eater. It takes a lot of extra creativity and effort to sneak those veggies into him, but it's doable.
I've always preached that if you don't buy it, they can't eat it. If all they have to choose from is healthy food, then they'll eat it. Kids won't starve themselves. The same is true for adults. Watch the Biggest Loser, and that's usually one of the first things they address... get the junk out.

However, I'm not immune to letting it slowly sneak into our home. I'll buy ice cream, just for fun, because Noah loves it so much. Brad will grab Noah a bag of Lays potato chips (NOT the baked kind...) while strolling through the cracker/chip aisle.

via

 

The real kicker? When Noah started reaching towards a bag in the chip aisle. I couldn't figure out what it was he was asking for, so I got him out of the cart to show me. He walked right up to a bag of Funyuns. He's never even HAD a Funyun before! I've never had a Funyun before! Frankly, I don't even know what a Funyun is... is it an onion flavored chip? An actual onion?

So yeah. We came home from the beach, promising each other not to buy any more treats for Noah. He was refusing to eat anything else. We were excited if he ate a few bites of banana.

Now? Just a few days later? He's back to eating healthy. Apples, bananas, raw pumpkin, and about 8 smoothiesicles a day. Once he figured out that all the "fun stuff" was gone, he started asking for his healthy foods again. Thus my point is proven, by the pickiest eater in the world.

***

I have another wedding I'm shooting tomorrow. Honestly, the photography world needs to come up with a better word than that. I feel all weird every single time, saying I'm going to shoot a family or whatever. Sounds creepy.

***

Brad came home from work yesterday with his eye in an insane amount of pain. I'd had dinner plans with a friend of mine for last night. Instead I ended up taking Brad to Urgent Care. He has a "corneal abrasion". We're still not sure where it happened, but even if it happened at work, there's no real way to prove it. While waiting in the lobby, Noah (of course) ended up having a poopy diaper. The diapers were in the car, which Brad had the keys to. So I spent the next 20 minutes apologizing to whoever happened to sit in our stinky vicinity.

I told Brad I think he did it on purpose. The man has been to Vegas, a guys' night with coworkers, and is going fishing with his dad next week. The last time I was out alone was at a photography workshop about three weeks ago. And even though it was a blast, I came home exhausted.

I need a girls' night.
And yes, I know I'm whining while my husband's eye feels like it might fall out. Wife of the year right here. ;)

Happy FRIDAY!!!

Escape

I've discovered one of the best ways to cope with national tragedies and this sometimes scary world we're in... point your car towards the nearest ocean. Turn off the news, hold your family close, and stick your toes in the sand.
And that's exactly what we did.

The few days leading up to our beach trip, Brad was actually in Vegas. He turns 30 this summer, and his brother offered to take him for a bro trip to celebrate. Last week just so happened to be the only time it'd work for both of them, so they took advantage.
I know I'm going to sound insanely naïve, so if you roll your eyes at what I'm about to say, I totally get it. But while most wives would be worried or stressed about their husbands being in Sin City, I didn't have any reservations about Brad going. I trust him, completely and totally. Frankly, he's too much of a stick-in-the-mud to even think about getting into trouble. haha. His type of fun is goofy fun... throwing soap in a fountain or some other high schooler prank type thing... not the Hangover type trouble. All he wanted to do was try his hand at Texas Hold 'Em. Turns out he was really good and actually brought home a little money. Go figure.
They checked out the famous hotels, saw the Blue Man Group, and met some cool people. So yeah. That's about all there is to tell on that end.

He was supposed to come back home Wednesday night, and we were going to leave for Kiawah Island on Thursday. Unfortunately, the Midwest blizzard put a damper on those plans. His flight was cancelled, so we were scrambling around trying to figure out the best option.

So Thursday morning, I packed everything up and headed towards Charleston with Noah on my own. Brad caught the next flight into the Charleston airport, and Noah and I picked him up on the way down to the beach. It worked out perfectly.

After 15 years, my dad (and his two other buddies) have decided to put the place on the market. Brad started going to Kiawah with my family back in high school, so it will forever have a special place in our hearts. He's proposed to me a million times on that beach. We stood at the edge of the ocean at 19, worried we'd never be back there together again right before he left for his mission. And we've watched our baby play in the sand there.

So anyway, we're trying to squeeze as much time out of that place as we can before they sell.
I only took a few shots with my fancy camera, mostly because I wanted to be present. Also because I forgot to bring my battery charger. This is when I'm thankful for camera phones.

My parents joined us Friday night, and my stepsister joined us Saturday (she had to work in Mt Pleasant over the weekend).

(seriously, I look like a 7th grader in this picture. You'd never know I had a cute Anthro top on underneath that sweatshirt, but it got cold. Oh well...)

 

If any of y'all remember our last attempt at this, you know it was terrible. We didn't sleep at all, because Noah was so thrown off by the whole thing. This time, I decided to bring his entire crib with us. We put it in our room with us, because we realized he didn't want to be left alone. And it was magical. He slept and would wake up every morning giggly and happy.

So yeah. We had a great time.

my husband is grounded from the internet

Lately, Brad has been having a little fun at my expense. He's been hacking into my FB account and writing random status updates, like "I like big butts and I cannot lie...", and confusing most of my FB friends. Actually, the majority of the confused people are the ones over 45. Just sayin'.

Yesterday, Brad posted (pretending to be me), "I need to do something nice for my hubby today. I have been really mean to him lately."

And oh my GOSH. People took it seriously. Like way too seriously. I was getting marriage advice, consolation, and suggestions like, "Give him a hot oil massage". And this was after I posted that I'd been hacked. Dude. The man is now banned from the internet. My poor grandmother is going to end up sending her pastor to our home for marriage counseling if he doesn't quit. lol.

So if we happen to be friends on FB, and my status update looks a little odd? Just assume it wasn't me.
Sheesh.

Easter



Our Easter was a bit of a dud this year.
Okay, well not really. In fact, Brad keeps saying how, other than being sick, this was his favorite Easter ever.

Friday night, we went to my dad's to dye Easter eggs with Noah. Oh my gosh, Noah looooved it this year! He totally understood what we were doing, and he wanted to be the one to put them in, scoop them out... and frankly, make a big mess.

That night, Brad came down with a bad tummy bug. This was absolutely AWFUL timing, because we were supposed to be doing a photo swap the next day with Jess.
I was also doing a photoshoot with my little sister and niece for my sister's 16th birthday present. So basically, we weren't going to be getting our pictures done, and Noah was going to have to come with us. The girls got their makeup done by my stepsister Sarah (who is amazing, btw), and we headed to the park I chose for both shoots.

It all ended up working out. Jess will be back in June for our shoot, and the girls kept an eye on Noah while I worked with her family. It was a team effort once I got to their shoot, though. The park is more like a massive field. No playground... just trails, a couple of barns, and lots of dirt for Noah to play in. It was awesome.

To see some of Jess's pictures, go here.

To see some of my little sister and niece's pictures, go here.

The next day, Brad still wasn't feeling very well. I wasn't about to just leave him alone on a holiday, so we decided to hang at home all day.

We did give Noah an Easter basket, which was fun to watch. The boy now loooooves bubbles and asks for "bu-bu-sss" multiple times, every day.

We also gave him some chalk, which he proceeded to pick at instead of actually draw with. Whatever makes him happy, I guess.

And that was our Easter. :)
Now I need to go catch up on everyone else's posts!

recent happenings

Last week, we took a day trip up to Asheville to visit the Biltmore. Brad had gotten free tickets through a work friend, so we picked a weekday (when it wouldn't be busy) and headed on up there. I hadn't gone since high school, and Brad had never been.

 

Noah did SO well. He even walked some of the tour and didn't try to jump on any beds or anything. :) He liked the tunnels in the basement, and his favorite part of the whole trip was the bus ride to the house.
When we were getting dropped back off at the parking lot, he starting waving and saying, "bye bye"... not because we were leaving, but because he wanted to go "bye bye" longer in the shuttle bus. lol.

I won't bore you with a ton of details of the house, but if you're in the area, definitely go for a visit. Especially if you watch Downton Abbey. It's very very similar to that. Except I recommend going in the spring. I mean, it was great for a free trip, but it would've been nice not to be so flippin cold!

(dude. bright sun. yikes.)

 We weren't allowed to take pictures inside, but we did grab a quick shot with Brad's phone of Noah and me at the indoor bowling alley. The quality sucks, especially since it was pretty dark down there. It is what it is. Photos of me with Noah are rare, so I'll take it.

 

Because Noah did so amazingly well, we decided to give him a treat. They had a little vintage toy shop, full of old timey type things like spinning tops, marbles, etc. They also had plenty of Melissa & Doug toys and these cool clocks (which Noah was mesmerized with). He found some trains, so we grabbed him one of those. And I was kind of surprised that the price wasn't too bad... $6 for a high quality, metal train that makes sound is better than those Thomas ones.

We also stopped by the candy shop, and his little eyes couldn't believe all of that chocolate behind the glass. He got a chocolate covered graham cracker, which he only ended up eating a few bites of (momma helped him with the rest...).
I'm kind of regretting I didn't get any cute candy shop shots with my fancy camera, but it was a little hard juggling everything (purse, backpack with Noah's stuff, stroller, etc).

 

We had a really good time. Brad was a little creeped out by some of the darker hallways, saying how he'd hate to visit at night. It did have a little bit of a haunted house type vibe goin' on. I'd like to take one of those tours where they show you the secret tunnels and doors and stuff.

You can get a better idea of just how big the house is by comparing how small Brad and Noah look standing next to it (bottom right, with the stroller). Now that I'm a mom? I kept telling Brad how I couldn't imagine raising kids in that house. I would be scared to death one of them would fall down the stairs or hang off a balcony or something. Or I'd lose them in a secret passageway.

Other Random Happenings:

The tickets we got expired March 1st, and part of the reason we waited so long to go was because Noah kept getting sick. I swear it's the school. He gets therapy there on Mondays, and it seems like by Thursday, he's sick again. Thankfully, it was just a fever this time, but it was still sad to watch him feel so lousy.

 

***

 

I've already decorated for Easter. I got my snow, so I'm good to move on now. 

 (bunny bums make me happy)

Actually, even though I'd like spring to show up early, it'd make for an awful summer. The mosquitos around here are ridiculous, and an earlier spring means more mosquitos (and other bugs). I'd rather wait a couple more weeks than get eaten alive.

I've also been planning Noah's Easter outfit. I'm so excited about it that I'm not even telling Brad what I have planned yet. Mostly because he'll probably veto it. He tends to do that when he can't see the whole picture yet. Seriously, half the fun of having a kid is dressing them up, and dangit, that's what I'm going to do.

***

We got a knock on our door recently. It was a surveyor telling us that our fence was on our neighbor's property by a few feet. Brad was super annoyed, since we'd had our HOA send out someone to check out the property lines before we built it. Turns out, that guy wasn't official.
So Brad went ahead and moved it now before it got too hot. Our neighbors behind us have a little girl who is about a year older than Noah. She was adorable chatting Noah's ear off, and most of it just went right over his head. He loves playing with other kids, and it cracks me up that little girls are drawn to him. They must think he's a great listener. ;)

 

Toss in a few hours of play doh and some therapy appointments, and that's pretty much the last couple of weeks for us.

Happy Tuesday!

Valentine's Day

As always, we had a really low-key Valentine's Day. In fact, I didn't even get around to decorating for it. I like the idea of the cute pink/red paper banners and filling vases with conversation hearts. But I'm also in the middle of painting our loft (what may break the record for slowest-paint-job-EVER). Frankly, I just wasn't in the mood to bother, especially since I'm the only one in this house who would even care.
We never go out on Valentine's Day, because everything is overly packed. Traffic is terrible, the wait is endless, and the "special Valentine's menu" is usually overpriced. I really didn't think we'd be doing anything, but my husband is a smart guy. And he knows that even if I say I don't care about Valentine's Day, I also don't want to be the only wife in America who didn't get anything special. So he ended up fixing me a cute fondue-for-two dinner last night. It was really sweet, and I ate too much. But at least it was food like salmon that I ate too much of, right?

Noah loves his Special Ed teacher at the public school. I'm still not too sure what her role in his therapy is, but I don't even care. He adores that lady, and she told us that she looks forward to Thursday every week, because she gets to see Noah. And that, my friends, is the sign of a good therapist. Anyway, in therapy yesterday, they made a Valentine's craft for me. I think it was my favorite part of the whole day.

He's shy about his crafting skills, so it's hard to get him to hold his projects for me... hence the blurry picture.

 

Hope y'all had a great Valentine's Day!

And even if you didn't, I guess take solace in the fact that it's over now, chocolate will be discounted, and it's Friday!!

 

Have a great weekend!



Christmas Catch-up

This is going to be a really fast Christmas catch-up post, for documenting purposes. I have a pie in the oven, a few more gifts to wrap, and our first Christmas stop in an hour. So yeah. Very fast post.

We were invited to tag along with a coop homeschool group to make salt dough ornaments. It was just Noah, Alice, and Jack that day... but I think that was plenty. lol. Noah actually loved participating. He played in the flour (his favorite), got to touch the dough, and even enjoyed making handprints. Jessica was the teacher for the day, and she did a great job.

We also took Noah to see Santa, but I can't find the actual picture WITH Santa at the moment. Which is okay, because it sucked. Not the moment with Santa... but the picture quality. I'll never pay that much for a crappy photo ever again. Next year, I'll take my own pictures, thankyouverymuch.

But the mall has this cool exhibit with fake snow falling, and Noah loves it.

 

Hope everyone has a very Merry Christmas!!!