a storm's a brewin'

When I got on Facebook the other day, I couldn't figure out why everyone was suddenly arguing again about marriage equality again. That gives you an idea of how often I turn on the news (never). I can see people gathering up their ammo, ready to fight. Lines are being drawn, and those who don't agree are seen as "the enemy".

I'm not going to use this blog to preach at anyone or make some massive stand.



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But I do have something to say.

Holding to your convictions does not mean you lose the ability to be compassionate. I think it's safe to say that about 75% of my friends have pretty liberal leanings. I think it's also safe to say that, if you know me at all, you'd know that I'm mostly conservative. I don't make any apologies for where I stand on issues. But I also don't beat people over the head with my way of thinking. I don't name call, bash, or belittle others with a different opinion.
(Just a tip: if you really want to change someone's perspective? I don't recommend any of the above methods... they never work.)

Like I said, a massive chunk of my friends are pretty liberal. I majored in Sociology, a very liberal field. I almost minored in Women's Studies, another mostly-liberal field. If you want your views tested, I recommend hanging out with hundreds of people who don't agree with what you believe. But here's the real test... don't say anything. It's kind of like being a spy. :) I've had people talk to me, thinking I'm also very liberal, and say what they really think. I went to the beach with a transgendered person (and this wasn't some big group... there were like 5 or 6 of us). He was one of the sweetest, coolest people I'd ever met.

So my personal opinions and convictions have zero to do with ignorance or hate. I've heard what they have to say, and I also love them. I've never ever ever had anyone accuse me of being hateful, even when they find out I don't really agree with their views. Want to know why?

Because I listen. I understand. I really, really do. Sometimes all people need is for you to acknowledge them. Acknowledge their feelings, their opinions, and frankly, their existence. Make them feel loved instead of attacked. Honestly, I hate confrontation. I will avoid it at all costs. But really, sometimes we get so caught up in making a point, that we forget there are people at the other end of that point. Actual people. With real feelings, hurts, struggles, and life experiences. Just because they are different from you doesn't mean they deserve to feel like less of a human. Even if they attack my views, it still doesn't give me the right to be ugly in return. You can disagree with someone's opinions or life choices and still show them love.

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And I feel this goes both ways. If you are on the liberal side of things, don't use maliciousness as your weapon. Don't assume that everyone who is religious in any way automatically hates you or is totally ignorant. It's just not the case.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that before you fire that ammo, think about the people you're firing it at. Realize that the Supreme Court most likely isn't basing their decisions on Facebook arguments and memes. God is ultimately in control of everything, and we have to remember that. If you really feel the need to make a point or argue your position, do your best to listen to the other side, no matter how off-base you think they are. And if they still don't agree or budge? Love them anyway.

 



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Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” Matthew 22: 37-40

streams of consciousness

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Noah's going through a weird diet phase right now.
Actually, it's more like a crap diet phase. He does this every once in a while, where all he wants to eat is crackers, chips, grilled cheese, and ice cream. Brad is a total pushover when it comes to Noah, which kind of sucks sometimes, because it means that I have to be the mean one. Brad took Noah to get some ice cream from McD's last night. So a few hours later, when Brad was in bed already, Noah asked me for ice cream. And of course, I told him no.

Noah doesn't really throw fits.
But oh my lordy. You would've thought I'd told him he's never ever having ice cream ever again. He fell on the floor and cried big, fat crocodile tears. Honestly, it's heartbreaking, because he's the embodiment of all that is innocent and right with the world. He doesn't understand that if he eats cartons of ice cream, that he'll get a belly ache. Or that his Dr will lecture me again for making him obese.

The frustrating part is that I know he likes healthy foods. If he's in the mood, he'll down an apple in 2 seconds. Same with grapes and bananas. In fact, at the store, he gets mad at me if I don't peel a banana for him right away (he hasn't quite figured out that "pay first" concept). I know for a fact that he likes peas and lima beans. But right now, he won't touch them. Heck, he's even refusing peanut butter. That's not normal for him.
Food is one of those things I've chosen not to make a massive deal about with him. Because the more I make it into an issue? The worse his diet may end up getting. So I wait it out. I stop buying kettle chips. Usually, we don't even keep ice cream at the house. I wait until he has nothing left to choose from but healthy options. Eat healthy or starve, basically. lol.

It'll all come back around again eventually. It always does. But man does that waiting period make me feel like a mom-failure.

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My little sister turned 16 yesterday.
It's kind of surreal. Being a sister at 14 means you do much more in the ways of helping out than you would if you were a sister at 4. I changed this girl's diapers for cryin' out loud.
So it's weird to describe how I feel about her turning 16. She's not my kid, but at the same time, it's like she is. So part of me is all, "Cool! My sister's old enough to talk about more grown-up things!" while the other part is all, "No! She's supposed to stay a baby!" It's very confusing.

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You ever feel like the kid on the playground that's wearing hand-me-downs and is all excited about last year's toy, while everyone else is in their designer jeans and talking about the latest iPhone apps?
Yeah, that's how I feel a lot of the time.
But honestly, it's not the stuff I care about. Not at all. It's the attitude of, "Wow are you missing out!" that surprises me. A friend of mine even fussed at Brad once for having a smartphone, while I have the freebie phone (seriously, I'm just happy mine texts). Nevermind that his is for work, and I really don't need a fancy phone. I've never cared much about being up to date on the latest and greatest. I grew up in a pretty privileged family, but my parents were the ones that decided when to spend and what on. Trust me, I enjoy shopping. But materialism really isn't my thing, especially when I know something newer and better will be along next year. Even in college, when I had "Daddy's credit card" on me 24/7, I never went on a spending spree. It was mostly for school books, gas, etc (gas, because I drove all around Charlotte carpooling my little brother and sister). When I saw a dress on sale that I liked? I'd call him first and ask. That happened twice.
Since being cut from the family bank account, I've had to learn a lot about money management. Brad has a lot to do with this, since he was the youngest in a family of eight. He's taught me a lot about wants vs needs.

We need to invest in Noah's therapy, so he can hopefully talk one day. We need to get new tires, so that we don't wreck. We need groceries to eat. We need to pay the water bill in order to take showers. We don't need to order Chinese, because we didn't feel like cooking. We don't need to buy a new car, because Brad's coworkers teased him about his clunker.

When it comes to how I run my photog business? I refuse to go into debt over it. It may take me longer to be really successful, because I'm not going to drop $30,000 on fancy equipment... but in the end, I'll have fewer headaches and get more sleep at night. (fyi, I'm not saying that everyone who does have all the fancy stuff is in debt. I just know there's no way for me to have it all without going into debt right now).
I buy what I need. If it's functional, and we have the money? I'm purchasing it. And I swear to you, God has blessed us for taking this route. I'm not saying this because I think we're super-Christians that are perfect and deserve to get on our high horse and tell everyone else what to do. I'm saying it because we're not. I've been tempted to drop $3000+ on a pro-grade camera. Brad was tempted to buy me a $1500+ laptop, because it was taking me 4 years to edit one picture on my old PC with the monitor from 1994. But in the end, we said no.

And lo and behold... Brad found a laptop on clearance at Target, complete with everything I need (adequate RAM, awesome graphics card, phenomenal processor...) for $250. And we had the money for that. It doesn't have an apple on it, but it definitely has what I need to process good, quality photos for clients.

So instead of feeling left out, I choose to be thankful. The whole thing is comical to me, watching these people beg to be included in whatever all the cool kids are doing or buying. Just because so-and-so photographer makes millions and edits on a MacBook doesn't mean that's the secret to their success.
Do I believe in staying current? Absolutely. Do I believe in going broke doing it? Nope.

And frankly, I kind of like the idea of being the poor, unknown photog that uses what little I have to become awesome.
Everyone loves a good underdog story. ;)

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I love hearing Noah play with his Thomas engines and saying very seriously, "ANK YOU! ANK YOU!" Apparently, one of his engines needs a lesson in manners.

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We have officially hit the paparazzi stage...

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What my weekend shall consist of. And I'm kind of excited about it.

 

HAPPY FRIDAY!

decluttering my head

I'm so out of my workout groove. I quit running after the miscarriage, and I obviously just lost all motivation. Then the holidays hit, and frankly, it seemed like a lost cause. I would've just been working out as an excuse to eat food. And let's face it, Christmas only comes once a year, and there's no way in H-E-doublehockeystick that I'm gonna pass up my aunt's sweet potato casserole (don't let the name fool you... it's loaded with butter and sugar... and oh-so-good).

But all that's over now. Pretty sure the lady lumps I've acquired aren't quite what Fergie was referring to, so I hopped back on the treadmill a few days ago for the first time. And I swear I thought I was going to die. The strength is there, but the endurance? Eh, notsomuch. My sides were cramping, and I only went like 2 miles. I guess that's not bad, but I was hoping for more. I'm an overachiever that way I guess.

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 I finally jumped on the Downton Abbey bandwagon. I spent a couple days catching up on past seasons, and by the end of it, I was worried I was going to start accidentally speaking in a British accent. Except with a Southern twang. I'm sure that would've been super hot.
The show is addictive and really good. The only down side is that it stresses me out. That's an awful lot of drama to throw into one show. I seriously can't watch it before bed, because it makes me all anxious.

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If you were following the news/weather at all last week, you probably heard about our big fat blizzard we had (#sarcasmfont). I love it when it snows. We rarely ever get any, so come January, most Southerners get all excited if there's even the slightest chance of some.

Yeah. Our area got a few flurries, but that was it.

Womp, womp.

(source unknown)

And while we're on the subject, I'd like to get something off my chest.

Northern and western transplants to our area like to give us a really hard time about our snow excitement. I saw a few calling us "idiots". But frankly, it's usually the transplants that my brother spends all day hauling out of ditches every time it snows. They figure they're super experienced and can drive on slush-covered roads.
If they saw our one little makeshift snow plow? They may understand why most of us stock up on groceries and refuse to come out of the house for two days. ;)

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You know how most toddlers get really quiet, and that's how you know they're up to something? Well, I think we finally hit that stage with Noah.
He's usually pretty chill, so when he got quiet last week, I assumed he was just playing in his room. I went to go check on him, and to my horror, I walked in to a poop fest. Noah wanted to tap into his inner artist, but since he couldn't get to his paint or crayons, he got resourceful.
It was all over him, smeared into the carpet, on his bedroom door...

He's never done anything like that before (and it doesn't really have anything to do with autism. I've heard of typical kids doing this too). I guess there's a first time for everything, but I'm hoping there's a LAST time for everything too.

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So remember Noah's Mini Cooper my dad and stepmom got him for Christmas? Well, our driveway isn't really ideal, since it's kind of short and goes to the road. I decided to take it over to my dad's and let Noah test drive it there.
He really liked riding around in it, but he hasn't quite gotten the hang of steering yet. He knows how to make it stop and go, but he's rather go hands-free and chill as he cruises.
Cracked us up.

Happy Monday (and MLK Day)!

Monday Musings

Sorry for the silence last week.

It's not that I don't want to blog. It's just that there's really not much to write about. Turns out the ol' blog is suffering from the post-holiday letdown too.

Really.
Our days consist of wake up, breakfast, play outside, watch Baby Einstein, nap, go to grocery store, play, dinner, bath, Baby Einstein/George, story time, and bed. Maybe with a little cookie-baking thrown in there.
But in a sad effort to blog about something... here's some complete randomness for your Monday:

Feeding the birds.
This was more of an attempt to do something crafty with the boy, but he wasn't the least bit interested. So while he ran around, I globbed peanut butter and seeds onto pine cones. Turns out? Watching these birds enjoy my little project made me happy!

(chickadees are my favorite)

We have a family of sparrows living in our bushes, and I think we've made their home permanent now.
As long as there aren't any mockingbirds or geese involved, I'm cool with this arrangement (because seriously, those things are mean...).

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Playtime Bits & Pieces.

Like I said, we've been going outside a lot lately, since the weather has been so amazing.
The pups are loving it too. Have I ever mentioned how weird Flash is with his snacking?
The dog will eat anything.
Dodger has to sniff everything before he trusts what you're giving him. Even obvious stuff like chicken. But Flash? Well, he has a pile of goodies in the back yard... from our garden.
We had some leftover carrots we didn't use, and guess who's been gnawing on them?

Yep. He's such a weirdo.

We also got to fit in some cousin playtime. I could just eat this little guy up. Such a cutie.

While I'm really craving some snow, I'm trying to be thankful for how nice it is at the moment. Last year, we were blessed with snow on Christmas. Not sure when or if that will ever happen again.
But still. The warmer temps are convenient for taking Noah out. I don't really enjoy the bitter cold unless it's going to snow.

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PSA.
This happens to me quite often actually. It seems there's a general misunderstanding among the U.S. population... at least the ones who shop at places like Target or WallyWorld.
So please, people.
Wait until I've completed my transaction before invading my personal space with your buggy. If I haven't paid yet, it makes it very difficult to do so with you standing right in front of the credit/debit swiper-thingy. And really, it's just rude. Trying to bulldoze me out of the checkout lane isn't going to make the process go any faster. In fact, it's just going to make things awkward. So yeah. Please just wait your turn. I don't have a million coupons, and I know how to use the transaction thingy (just don't know what they're called, obviously). Give me some space, and it won't take long. 


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Running.
Still doing it. Sort of. Ever since I got sick over New Years, it's taken me this long to get over my cold. I still sound all nasal-y, but I'm almost all better. Which is good, because I was really on a roll before. One day, I actually went 6 miles. That's probably not much for all you avid runners out there, but for this girl? You might as well have given me a medal. That's huge for me.
And then I proceeded to use a walker for the next few days...

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Which leads me to...
Weight Watchers.
Yep. I joined.
I decided it was time to just bite the bullet and admit this last bit of weight wasn't going to come off without some sort of outside help. I have so many friends that have had success with the program and look phenomenal now. I guess it was only a matter of time before I caved to the peer pressure. And honestly, I'd forgotten how I used to eat before I was pregnant! I ate like a bird!
See, I'm technically right in the middle of my "healthy weight range". So in order to lose weight, they've given me the bare minimum of points. At least I hope so. Basically it's the "Eat Healthy or Starve" plan. If I don't lose anything this time? There's something really wrong with me. It's really not bad, though. It's made me realize how much crap I'd been eating and how little fruits and veggies I'd actually been consuming. I thought I was doing fine, but apparently not. You wouldn't believe how many points just everyday little things I'd been eating are. Anyway, it's only been about 4 days, so I have to wait a bit for any real results. Also, it might help if I owned a scale...

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Happy Monday!
xoxo.

soapbox moment: giving credit where it's due

I'm not a very preachy person. In fact, I kind of subscribe to the whole, "you do your thing, I'll do mine, and we can meet in the middle" philosophy. If I'm asked, I'll tell you my opinion. If I think it might save your life, then I'll speak up. Other than that, I tend to keep my mouth shut. Nobody likes a preachy-Patty.

However, I keep seeing this recurring problem online lately that's starting to really grate on my nerves. Maybe it's just my inner English/Lit geek in me coming out?
By now, just about everyone and their grandma has heard about Pinterest. I absolutely adore Pinterest. For years, I've done my own version... clipping pictures, saving images/links/tutorials to my computer for later. Heck, my entire "wedding book" was filled with pictures I loved. It helped my florist, hairstylist, makeup artist, etc be able to see exactly what I was envisioning. With Pinterest, there's no more clipping. Just pin it. It's a lot less messy, at least in the I-hot-glued-my-finger-again way.

There are all kinds of debates going on right now about Pinterest. Lots of etsy people are upset, because people are pinning their products as "DIY". Others are wondering if it's even legal to just take images from anywhere and keep them for yourself. I understand their concern, but that's not really what I'm getting on my soapbox about.

My issue? Sourcing.
Ideally, people are pinning images from their original websites. For example, if you pin a recipe image, it's not going to do anyone any good if it doesn't lead directly back to the original place you found it. I mean, you can't make it if you don't have the recipe. If there's not an accurate source? It's plagiarism, in my book. Think about it like this.
You post a picture of your family on your blog. One that you took.
Someone sees it and likes that particular pose or backdrop or whatever. So they pin it. It will lead back to your blog if someone else pins it, and so on.
But what if they didn't get it from your blog? What if they searched "family photos" on Google and pinned it straight from there? The source link is now Google. So your family photo that you took is floating around on the internet, and nobody knows it belongs to you.

If someone did that with a quote from a book or, even worse, included a phrase that wasn't theirs in a term paper? They'd be in some big trouble.

So here's my point. If you post an image on your blog that you got from Pinterest? Source it. Link to its original owner. What if it's a free printable? Give your readers the opportunity to print it for themselves! Not just think you're super clever for designing something that you didn't design and wish they had something like it.

Example A.

(no source)

"Look at these great Christmas planning printables!"

See? Annoying.

You can't print them yourself. And even worse?

The original creator doesn't get any credit.

Example B.

(with source)

"Look at these great printables I found on Pinterest!

Click here to get your own!

See? It's not difficult, and it's just good etiquette.

If you were writing a book, you would source your quotes or any ideas that weren't originally yours.

Do the same with your blog.

Be respectful of other people's work.

If you don't know the original source, then say so. Ask if anyone does know, and if they respond, correct it. But don't let someone else's image/creation/photography/quote/etc keep floating around without giving them proper credit.

And this concludes our Monday morning sermon.

Amen.

For more on this:

Pinterest: Etiquette

Pinterest, Inspiration, Copying, and the Whole Ethics Thing

Prying Control from Your Cold, Cramped Hands

ps. I know I'm guilty of doing this, way back before I knew better; I wish someone had pointed it out to me. And this isn't to say I'll always be perfect about my sourcing. But I think being aware and doing your best to do the right thing by crediting others with their work is definitely a good goal to have. Also... and BIG also... this is certainly not directed at anyone in particular. It's just something I've noticed on a lot of blogs lately. Carry on. :)