Lately (with an 8 second clip of Noah singing!)

I've been so overwhelmed lately. It's not really just one thing either. It's lots of little things that have piled up and are making me feel like crawling into a corner and crying. Or inhaling an entire gallon of ice cream (which is why I haven't bought any...).
And I feel like I'm going to let somebody down. No one in particular. It just seems inevitable. If I focus on getting one thing done? Something else is going to suffer. For example, I'm doing pretty well trying to keep up with my business stuff. Photos are edited ahead of schedule, and I'm in the process of rebranding (which is stressful enough in and of itself...). But my house? Yeah, it looks like a family of 15 just ate at my house... then tried flushing an entire roll of toilet paper. And spilled veggie smoothie all over me. And picked at blue chalk, so there are little chalk bits on the floor. Oh, and the 15 people also decided to have a party all night long. Except those 15 people? They happen to be one toddler.

I just feel like there's not enough of me to go around.
I need like 3 more me's to make my life work out a little more smoothly (can I get an "Amen", mommas?!).

Noah had his IEP meeting Monday, and it went well. It's very laid back compared to what I've heard most meetings are like. His speech therapist wasn't even there for it. But I was happy with it overall. I think they sort of get a decent idea of where he's at. However, they're only with him for 30 minutes a week, so they don't get to see all of the successes we have at home. While I was there, I had Noah say his little phrases like, "Oh no, George!" and sing songs for them. They were stunned.

Seriously, where he is at this year compared to last year at this time? It's like having a completely different kid. He no longer lives like he's just existing in his own world, but he's present. He gives us spontaneous hugs and kisses. If I give him a choice between milk or water, he'll answer, "wa wa". If I give him simple directions, he's following them (for the most part... he IS still a toddler, after all. ha). He's added like 20 new words to his vocabulary in the last few weeks. I'm still waiting for "Ma-ma" to surface again. :)

Seeing as how the words are starting to come, we've decided to pay for private speech therapy, especially since school will be out soon. After next week, he wouldn't be getting anything until September. So after his IEP meeting, we had to run to the same place where his OT is at for a speech evaluation. Because he was sleep deprived, he wasn't quite on his A-game. But she did get a "ready, set, go!" out of him. :) I'm really excited about it, because she uses sensory integration as part of her speech therapy, which is perfect for him.

So that's where I've been. Add in a hospital visit for Brad a couple weeks ago (he's okay!), a much needed girls' night, Mother's Day, and Noah's sleep getting all messed up again... and well, that's why I haven't been blogging. Dude, I haven't even been reading blogs. I've missed my blog buds. :)

Hopefully I'll be back before another 2 weeks passes by.
And with that, I'll leave you with a quickie video of Noah singing. The song is from Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood (which, fyi, has been a total gift from God... his speech, social skills, and self-care skills have totally blossomed because of this show).

It goes, "I like you, I like you, I like you.... (then Noah finishes) Just the way you are!"

To the one who made me a momma...

There's this necklace I want very badly. It was made for us; it already has your name on it.

via

The fact that it has, "Love has no words..." etched into the silver? Well, it hits something deep in my heart. Because the fact is, Little Man, I haven't heard the word "Ma-ma" dance across those sweet lips of yours in a very long time. But the coolest part is that I don't need to hear it to know when you need me. In fact, even though I do a little dance with every new word or phrase that you surprise us with? They don't compare to the completely unprompted kisses you give. Or the way you still bury your head in the crook of my neck like an infant. Or how you reach those little arms around me when we hug, tugging as if I there's any possible way we could be any closer. When those beautiful eyes light up at the sight of me, it makes this mommy's heart soar.

 

Your sweetness knows no limits. Even those quiet little split-second fits most people would call a "tantrum" are cute. Your smile brightens even the worst of days, and people are automatically drawn to you. The Starbucks barista even lights up when she sees you coming for your weekly pumpkin bread, which she keeps in stock especially for you.

Little boy, you are such a gift. God is going to use you in amazing ways. You fill our home with lots of joy (and Curious George and cars and dirt...), and I'm just so thankful I get to be the one to help raise you. Thank you for making me a mom and giving me a reason to feel extra loved tomorrow.

Love you to the moon and back, sweetpea.

Bubbles

While we were at Biltmore, I handed Noah one of those cheap plastic pinwheels at the toy store, just to see if he'd try to blow on it. And to my shock, he did.
For some reason, kids with autism don't seem to like certain activities like blowing bubbles or blowing out candles. Noah has yet to blow candles out on his birthday. I've read it could be sensory related or that they have low muscle tone in their face. At any rate, that's where we were at with Noah.

So on a whim last weekend, I decided to try getting him to blow bubbles again.

And HE DID!!

I know it seems like such a little thing to most people, but this is 2.5 years of work finally paying off. So I'm doing a little happy dance over here. He even says, "Bubbles" now... like perfectly.

Also, the way he blows bubbles? Adorable. His cheeks get all puffy and he sticks his lips out. So so cute. Also, if you're trying to work on fine motor skills with your kids? These bubble tubes are perfect.

So here he is, showing his new found talent:

Fiddlyfart

For the last few weeks, I've become obsessed with popcorn. I eat it almost every day. For those of you who have done Weight Watchers before, you know that plain air-popped popcorn is zero points. So when I'm wanting a snack, that's what I go to. To give it some flavor, I spray a little butter flavored PAM on it (sounds gross, but I promise it's good... zero calories? Yes please) and sprinkle a little kosher salt. Voila. So good and guilt-free.

***

Noah was sick with a tummy bug for most of last week. That's my least favorite kind of sick. And my poor kid is terrified of puking. Combine the sickness with sensory issues, and you've got one fun recipe for a freaked out kid.

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At the beginning of December, I shot my second wedding. I did it for my cousin as a gift, so it took a ton of pressure off me. I just showed up and did my thing. No list of must-have shots, no crazy time frame to follow... they're really laid back. And honestly? That fact alone made me relax and just have some fun with it. They are so cute together.
I don't normally say a whole lot about my photography business and website on here. I'd rather keep it personal and not do the whole "HIRE ME!" thing on every other post. But if you're interested in seeing the pictures, click on over to the blog portion of my website. There are also a few pictures from a newborn shoot I did. She was so precious.

Anyway, one of the reasons I'm mentioning this is to give a little advice. If you decide to hire a professional photographer for any reason (family, newborn, wedding, etc), pick one because you love their style. Yes, price often plays a role. But that shouldn't be your #1 reason. Pick a photographer because you're drawn to their work. And when you hire them, put your trust in them. Realize that you hired them for a reason, and this isn't their first shoot. It's fine to give them a few ideas of pictures you like, but when it comes down to it, the shoot will come out a million times better if you just let them do their thing. My favorite sessions have been the ones where the clients relax and trust that I'm going to do a good job.

***

We have mice again. Not in the house, thank you Jesus. Just in the garage. They love the dog food, and our pups have this wonderful habit of turning over their bowls on purpose.
Apparently, one of our neighbors must have gotten pest control, because these mice just move around the neighborhood in waves. The worst part is that I don't like having to kill them. It makes me sad. Unlike water beetles or termites, mice are kind of cute. So I was researching ways to keep them away, so we can avoid killing them. Turns out they hate peppermint. I'll be heading to Hobby Lobby soon to get some peppermint oil. I have some candy canes left from Christmas, but I have a feeling the dogs will just eat them.
I swear, Disney has ruined me for life. All I can think about is Gus Gus or how we might be killing somebody's mommy.

***

And in case you were wondering what we've been up to lately besides mice, photography, and tummy bugs...

Playtime at the local kids museum...
I think people wonder why I don't ever invite friends for play dates there. Because for me, they don't work. Noah is all over the place, and I never actually get to talk to anyone. However, he did keep coming back to the water table. He is obsessed with those buckets.

Playtime outside...

Playtime on the iPad.
With a rare video appearance. Noah is sitting on our love seat with no cushion, because he spends the majority of his day jumping off the arms of the couches and onto the cushions. And the whole sight makes me smile.
Anyway, it took a while to get him to use the blablabla app. It helps promote speech. But within the last couple of weeks, he's fallen in love with it. But instead of just "talking" to it? This is what he does:

 

Cracks me up.

Happy Thursday!

Life Lately.

Right now, I'm taking advantage of a few minutes to myself and writing. Well, sort of. Obama and Mitt are in the other room, going back and forth with their respective ideas. I'm not much of a debate watcher. I'm listening, and of course I believe in getting all of the facts (as hard as that may be...) in order to make an informed decision when voting. It's not the information overload that I don't like. I can handle that.
I don't like conflict. Debates make me nervous and antsy. And when one guy makes a great point, while simultaneously putting the other guy's ideas down, it just makes me want to give the one in question a hug. Tell them they're doing a good job, as if they're a 5 year old in a school play. That if it were me, I would've wet my pants by now.

***

You know you've taken too long to update the blog when it still says "summer 2012" at the top and people are emailing to make sure you're okay. haha.

Honestly? I'm just a little overwhelmed with life right now.
I have a lot going on.... nothing crazy, but enough to stress me out and keep me busy.

I feel like I have 20 million projects going on, and instead of getting any of them done, I'd much rather curl up in bed and watch cheesy, girly movies for the rest of the week. Pretend those projects don't exist.

As for the lack of blogging? Besides being busy, I'm feeling a little less-than-inspired lately. As if I'm just creatively spent. Not that my writing is all that magical normally. But I sit down to write.... and blank.

So here I go, attempting to formulate some sort of cohesive thought.

***

Work is going well. I've had a few photoshoots recently, which makes me happy. Especially when I see the clients happy. But I also see how far I have left to go, when it comes to growing. And that thought alone? Totally overwhelms me. As if I'll never get there. As if I don't deserve to even be doing what I'm doing. It's just negative thoughts that I keep having to ignore. Remind myself that the only one I need to compare myself to is me.

Noah is doing amazingly well. I'll go more into it in another post, but the strides he's made in the last month have been so awesome to see. I thank his OT all the time for being so wonderful. God couldn't have given him a more perfect therapist.
His public school OT, though? I'm having a really hard time trying to decide how to handle the situation.

Part of his IEP is that they want him to eventually copy block patterns. Right now, though, he's definitely not there yet. This goal is for June of 2013, and she's expecting him to do it now. She speaks to him like he's an 8 year old, with lots of verbiage and descriptive words. Noah is nonverbal. He responds best to 2-3 word phrases. Too many words, and he completely ignores everything you're saying. She brings zero toddler toys. All of her toys are boring to him, and she doesn't understand why he wants to run around towards the end of the session (even though I've explained his sensory needs and that he uses movement as an escape when he's overwhelmed). Last time, she attempted to make him stop. First by repeating, "Stop running. Stop running" over and over (not sure if Noah even knew she was talking to him. lol). Then by physically stopping him. His regular OT? She gets that he needs small breaks. That he needs regular sensory input, and that moving around solves that for him. Heck, ALL of his other therapists get that.

When Noah dropped a couple of the blocks, she told him, "Noah I need you to pick up those blocks before we do something else. Pick up the blocks..." She then holds out the bag of blocks for him to put the others in. He thought she was offering more blocks to him, and every time he would reach for more in the bag, she would shut it on him. He began to get very frustrated, and had I not stepped in, he would've spiraled quickly. I swooped in, put one of the blocks from the floor in his hand, and said, "Clean up". He then understood and did what she wanted.
But see... I shouldn't have to do that. She should know Noah's level of communication. She should know that, even though the goal is to get him to respond to adult directions, he's not THERE yet. And that you don't get there immediately. You take baby steps. Otherwise the therapy is going to be completely useless once Noah sees it as a negative experience.
Later when she asked him to clean up, she put the bag next to a table. When he leaned over, he hit his head pretty hard on the edge of the table. With tears in his eyes, he looked to her for comfort. Her response? "Oh, you're fine." No hug or anything. Maybe this is the momma bear in me, but that was a huge moment for her to gain some sort of relationship and trust with Noah. And instead, she blew it off as no big deal.

The other therapists? He'll climb in their laps and play with them. This particular one, he pretty much ignores or has zero relationship with her.

I've talked to his Special Ed teacher, his SLP, his private OT, and his former IE coordinator. All of them agree that I need to say something. That she needs to start small with him, bring toys that he'll enjoy, and make it a positive experience. I'm just trying to figure out how to explain what Noah needs without acting like an overprotective jerk.
The thing is? I feel like I keep having to step in and explain how to handle Noah. Explain his sensory needs, his limited language, and what he responds best to. I shouldn't have to do that. Not after it's all written in his IEP and after she's had several sessions to get to know him. Had I not been in the room for these therapies, he would've spiraled quickly and had no idea what she wanted from him.

So this has been weighing on my heart a lot lately. I think she's just used to working with older kids, not toddlers. Noah JUST turned three. Boring beige blocks and a squiggly pen just aren't going to be motivating enough for him. I've been advised to bring our own toys next time and to make suggestions on how to help Noah most effectively.
I don't have a problem sticking up for my kid. I just want to do it in a way that doesn't offend her.

And that's what's been preventing me from writing happy posts. I'm trying to avoid being a total downer. But yeah. This is where my head and heart have been.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to curl up on the couch and watch a Gilmore Girls rerun (okay not really. But I would like to...). :)

life lately (and a progress update on Noah)

Can you tell we've been a bit busy lately?
Part of it is due to the temperature drop (finally) around here. It feels absolutely awesome out, so we've been taking advantage of it.

Meeting up with friends:

Going out as a family:

 (Noah behaves so well at restaurants, even nicer ones. These were taken at the Cheesecake Factory)

 Soaking up the last little bits of summer fun:

 Monkey Joe's:

 

We bought Noah an Autism Awareness shirt, mostly so that others will be a little more mindful of him. I've watched people's faces completely change once they see it. It's like something on the inside softens, and they begin to reach out and play with him. Those who aren't aware of autism will ask polite questions. Kids become selfless, handing over their toys for Noah to play with. A sweet cashier at Target runs to their break room and back just to hand Noah a box of raisins or a sticker (she remembers Noah's name every time, asks how he's doing, and talks to him the whole time we check out). It's been so refreshing to see that there is still good out there. It's as if Noah teaches people to tap into a more sensitive part of themselves that often goes ignored.

For a little guy who used to be terrified of Monkey Joe, I think this can be counted as progress. :)

 Willing Fall to hurry its little heiney up:

Guess what made a comeback into Noah's diet again this week! That's right... raw pumpkin.
The kid still loves it. Go figure.

I may be a tad bias. But oh my goodness, his cuteness just slays me sometimes.

Pumpkin face 'n all.

 Btw, baking is a GREAT sensory play activity. And cheap.

Just get your vacuum ready, set yourself up next to the sink, and let 'em at it.

I use flour, white sugar, and brown sugar for the different textures.

Once he's done, I suck it all up with the vacuum and wipe the rest right into the sink. Pretty simple. When he's older, I plan on using baking to help teach fractions and measurements (I really wish someone would've done that with me. I probably would've done better in math had I understood what the numbers actually meant).

The other reason for the silence? Well, we've been doing a lot of transitioning the last couple of weeks. Noah has officially aged out of the EI program, much to the disappointment of his coordinator (we're still keeping in touch though! I talked to her yesterday!).
He now is enrolled as part of the public school's "preschool" program, even though it's not really preschool. Noah is going to therapy every day of the week except Wednesdays. Three of those days are at the local elementary school down the road. He's enrolled in OT, Special Ed, and Speech. We've only had one session of each so far, so it remains to be seen as to how much this will benefit him. I'm sure they're all great at what they do. It just takes some time to adjust and figure Noah out. It also doesn't help that they only have 30 minutes a week to do so. But we'll see. Anything is better than nothing.

He's also still doing OT with the private company (looooove them!!) on Tuesdays. His therapist, Ms Kim, is absolutely wonderful with him. She's a mom and grandma, so she has that perfect balance of wisdom, knowing when it's time to push Noah's limits and when it's time to ease up and cuddle him. :) And he's finally stopped crying! He participates well and actually enjoys it.

 (doing his pre-OT run... it's his transition tool of choice. ha)

The other therapists are also there, working with their kids, and they're all so friendly, greeting each kid as they come in. We've introduced brush therapy with Noah this week, and he loves it. I swear I could sit and listen to Kim explain this stuff to me all day. How it affects Noah, how Noah processes the sensory input, and certain signs to look for in the next couple of weeks. Fascinating stuff.

We've been seeing some really great progress with him, and I truly believe it's his OT that's helped. His stimming has decreased so much, and he's becoming a little more verbal.
A few nights ago, I asked him if he was ready to take a bath. He responded with, "Tay ba-ba". That was his first time ever using a two word sentence. I just about invited the neighbors over for a party to celebrate. I was so so excited for him. He's also saying "bye-bye" again.
Noah also knows how to count to 10, but in the past, he hasn't enunciated the words well. It comes out as, "uh-oo-ee" for 1, 2, 3.
This week though? He began to hop around the room, counting each hop and he said both "two" and "six" perfectly! Baby steps. But steps in the right direction.

He's currently obsessed with Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes. He randomly does the motions, attempting to sing along. Even on the trampoline (please ignore our neglected, ugly garden beds. we kind of didn't bother this year.). 

(how do you like that hair??)

Because he's learning to process sensory input correctly, he's getting braver. More aware of his own body and what he's capable of. While most parents freak when their kids start going up the slide backwards or do a superman jump off the arm of the couch, I'm over here encouraging it! It's typical toddler behavior, and I'm all for it!

 A couple of months ago, sitting on a swing unassisted wouldn't have happened. He's never been able to balance himself and wanted to lean back on me for support. Now? No help needed.

Noah's making lots of progress, and it's so exciting to watch. I love seeing him learn and getting to watch him make big steps firsthand.

Anyway, sorry for the novel. Just wanted to get this stuff written down before I forget. I love blogging, but frankly, sitting at a computer just isn't as enticing as getting outside and enjoying the awesome weather with my family. :)

Hope you're having an amazing week!

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I also have a few new posts over at the Poop Whisperer. Check them out if you want!
Why You Gain Weight After Working Out
Pumpkin Spice Latte (vegan friendly option)

happy things

(from our butterfly bush. and yes, I added this up top not only because it makes me happy, but because I didn't want the next picture to be what showed up in everyone's feed)

Home improvements.
It only took us a little over 3 months, but we finally finished. Our kitchen was #1 on my home improvement list. When we bought it, it had brown, builder-grade cabinets and boring white walls. It has now been totally repainted, including the cabinets. We also added knobs and pulls, since they didn't have any before. So it went from this:

(picture from before we moved in, obviously)

To this:

We still have a little touching up to do, but I love it. I actually really enjoy my kitchen now; I feel like it reflects my style a little more. I find myself just hanging out in it at night... I light a candle or two and suddenly doing the dishes doesn't seem so terrible anymore. :)


Being outside again.
The weather has been great lately. Still a little hot during the day, but once the sun starts making its way westward, it feels perfect out. Which means we get to stop hiding from the heat!
And a certain little boy has been loving it.

Last weekend, we picked up my little sister (who'd had a particularly rough day of Driver's Ed. I won't go into it... lol) and headed for our favorite splash pad. Since it was a Friday night, they had a band playing and jugglers performing. Noah had a blast.

(Noah thought the fire juggling was pretty cool)

Surprise gifts.
Noah got a present in the mail from his Uncle Ben (Brad's brother), Aunt Sara, and family. Sara said she saw it and immediately thought of him.
Wonder why? ;)

And you would've thought Noah totally knew how to read. Because as soon as I put this on him? He went underneath the stairs outside and started digging in the dirt.

We also met up with Lori yesterday. She wasn't able to come to Noah's party, so she insisted we meet up. This way she could give Noah his gift, and we had a great excuse to chat for a little bit. I brought Brad along with me, because I wanted to be able to actually sit and talk. And without Brad, that definitely wouldn't have happened. :)
Knowing how much Noah loves to bake with me, she gave him a Play-doh baking set. Thank you, Lori! He loves it!

On Monday, I did a post over at the Poop Whisperer on Southern Style Slowcooker BBQ and mentioned our favorite BBQ sauce, Sticky Fingers Carolina Sweet. I ended up getting a comment from them, thanking me for recommending them, and they're mailing me a free thing of BBQ sauce! How cool is that?!

Small improvements.
Noah has been doing so well lately following directions and playing with toys appropriately. If we're playing with his wooden train set, he finds pieces and puts them together. If I suggest a different piece, he grabs it to use. He's fallen in love with more complex (24 piece jigsaw) puzzles. He got a Thomas one for his birthday, and he wants to put it together every single day.
If we show him how to do something, he tries to follow our directions. The other day he repeated the word "Up" after I said it (twice!), and yesterday it was the word "kiss". Last night, he signed "Momma" after I did, and then said "Da-da" while signing it. Words and signs still aren't consistent, but I'm hoping he's starting to make lots of progress.
His OT has seen improvements as well, and she has to remind us (mostly Brad, lol) that the smallest signs of progress are worth so much.

Did your parents or teachers ever get on you about trying to climb up the slides? Well, this Momma isn't telling this kid not to try. Not at all. In fact, when I see him attempt big kid type things, I encourage it. The fact that he's low tone makes certain activities a challenge. So when he puts in that extra effort despite the difficulty? I'm celebrating it.

Sneaky, Sneaky.
I pride myself in finding a way to sneak fruits and veggies into Noah's diet. It's turning into a game for me. He'll down a whole bag of those Veggie Straws in a day. He loves them.

Little splurges.
Every once in a while, it's nice to splurge on small things that just brighten your day. Brad was out of town last weekend for work (in Myrtle Beach of all places... jealous wife right here), so I thought it'd be fun to buy something special for myself. Something small that I've been wanting for a while now but never bought, because I couldn't justify the purchase in my mind. I adore the smell, and the fact that it's green? Even more perfect. The Honeysuckle scent is divine. Makes me happy every time I wash my hands. :)

The pups.
Oh my goodness, these two.
Some days they drive me crazy. But I'm so happy we have them. They're the perfect dogs to have for Noah.

As soon as we walk outside, they run and give him gentle kisses. These two do a great job of never knocking him down, and it melts my heart to know that they love Noah so much. Even if he doesn't always appreciate their affection. :)

I wasn't the only one that got something fun. I went ahead and splurged on them too. They get bored in the back yard sometimes, especially if we're not out there to play with them. So I got them each their own toy. It was a hit... as you can see by the tufts of fluff in our yard.

And... it's Friday!!

We've got a busy weekend ahead of us, but all good stuff! 

Hope yours is full of good stuff too! :)