operation smaller biscuits. because I'm too ladylike to say a$$.

(note: the title is an alternate version of my friend Jess' who is in a similar situation as me when it comes to weight loss. But she's more blunt than I am. And she knows I don't swear. Because I'm a goody-goody).

***

I assisted one of my friends on a high fashion photoshoot a few days ago. Usually, I don't get too self-conscious about how I look. I let most of that go in college, when I realized that the guys in high school were just dumb (no offense if any of y'all actually read my blog, which I doubt), and the reason they didn't like me had nothing to do with my looks. I think it had way more to do with the aforementioned goody-goody personality of mine. But that's another story for another day. I'm just glad my husband thought that part of me was hot. That and ma biscuits.

Ahem. Getting back on topic...

I'm a size 6 (albeit a tight size 6 sometimes...), which compared to most, is still small. But for the first time in my whole life, I walked into that room on the photoshoot and felt like the fat girl. Heck, I was the fat girl. Not only was the model a size 0, but so was the makeup artist. The model's mom and my friend were both smaller than me.
And while I know y'all are going to say not to let that get to me? That I'm not a total fatty, because a 0 isn't normal? I appreciate it. I do. But dude, I needed the wake-up call. My happy weight is 115. And it's not beyond my reach. I've just spent the last 4 years enjoying carbs and losing my sense of portion control.

via

Before that, my heaviest was 125, and that was when I didn't really work out or watch what I ate. And before that, I spent most of my life as a size 0.

Those days are long behind me now though.

I have the muscle. I could arm wrestle Brad and put up a good fight, thanks to Noah (go lift 40+ lbs over and over all day and I promise you'll get results). Ask me to flex, and I've got some serious guns. But I've lacked the discipline in my diet, so you can't actually see them. I mean, what a waste.

Until now.
And you know what the difference is? Motivation. Resolve.
Before, I made excuses. I'd do really well all week, and then let Brad talk me into a night out, full of high calorie food. I'd let myself have a bowl of ice cream... y'know since I'd worked out that day. What kind of logic is that??

via

So I went to the store the day after that shoot, with the skinny version of me stuck in my head. I was focused, man. I just about bought out their produce department. Even the checkout lady made a comment about it.
I know what to do. I've done it before... lived off of only healthy foods, occasionally splurging. Working out on a consistent basis. Both my parents are health conscious. They shop organically and haven't been lazy a day in their life.

Since last Wednesday, I've counted every calorie. And guess what I found out? I'm barely over 1000 calories a day. And that's how I use to eat back when I was skinny. To be clear, I don't starve myself. It's just that the food I eat is filling, but low cal. Lots of fruits, veggies, and lean protein. If I want something salty, I go for some (lightly salted) almonds. If I want something sweet, I drink some hot chocolate.

It's not rocket science. The difference between a week ago and now? I'm motivated. Because I'll be darned if I ever walk into a room again and feel fat. That feeling sucked. And I'll never be that again (unless I'm pregnant obviously, which I'm not).

I wish I could say that I'm doing this so that I can be healthy for my kid/s and blahblahblah. Yes, I want that too. But if I'm being perfectly honest? I'm totally being shallow and vain. I want my defined cheekbones back. And I want to fit (not squeeze) in that cute little black dress again.
So yeah, it's all about the looks for me.

Oh well. At least I'm not ashamed to admit it, right? That's got to count for something. :)

It's time to be fabulous again.

via

***

ps. remember when I said popcorn was 0 points on WW? Yeah, I was wrong. I swear I didn't just come up with that, but turns out 5 cups is equal to 4 pts. Just wanted to make that clear, so I'm not steering people into wasting all their points on popcorn. And thanks to a friend of mine for not calling me out on my blog and making me feel like an idiot. lol.

decluttering my head

I'm so out of my workout groove. I quit running after the miscarriage, and I obviously just lost all motivation. Then the holidays hit, and frankly, it seemed like a lost cause. I would've just been working out as an excuse to eat food. And let's face it, Christmas only comes once a year, and there's no way in H-E-doublehockeystick that I'm gonna pass up my aunt's sweet potato casserole (don't let the name fool you... it's loaded with butter and sugar... and oh-so-good).

But all that's over now. Pretty sure the lady lumps I've acquired aren't quite what Fergie was referring to, so I hopped back on the treadmill a few days ago for the first time. And I swear I thought I was going to die. The strength is there, but the endurance? Eh, notsomuch. My sides were cramping, and I only went like 2 miles. I guess that's not bad, but I was hoping for more. I'm an overachiever that way I guess.

***
 I finally jumped on the Downton Abbey bandwagon. I spent a couple days catching up on past seasons, and by the end of it, I was worried I was going to start accidentally speaking in a British accent. Except with a Southern twang. I'm sure that would've been super hot.
The show is addictive and really good. The only down side is that it stresses me out. That's an awful lot of drama to throw into one show. I seriously can't watch it before bed, because it makes me all anxious.

***
If you were following the news/weather at all last week, you probably heard about our big fat blizzard we had (#sarcasmfont). I love it when it snows. We rarely ever get any, so come January, most Southerners get all excited if there's even the slightest chance of some.

Yeah. Our area got a few flurries, but that was it.

Womp, womp.

(source unknown)

And while we're on the subject, I'd like to get something off my chest.

Northern and western transplants to our area like to give us a really hard time about our snow excitement. I saw a few calling us "idiots". But frankly, it's usually the transplants that my brother spends all day hauling out of ditches every time it snows. They figure they're super experienced and can drive on slush-covered roads.
If they saw our one little makeshift snow plow? They may understand why most of us stock up on groceries and refuse to come out of the house for two days. ;)

***

You know how most toddlers get really quiet, and that's how you know they're up to something? Well, I think we finally hit that stage with Noah.
He's usually pretty chill, so when he got quiet last week, I assumed he was just playing in his room. I went to go check on him, and to my horror, I walked in to a poop fest. Noah wanted to tap into his inner artist, but since he couldn't get to his paint or crayons, he got resourceful.
It was all over him, smeared into the carpet, on his bedroom door...

He's never done anything like that before (and it doesn't really have anything to do with autism. I've heard of typical kids doing this too). I guess there's a first time for everything, but I'm hoping there's a LAST time for everything too.

***
So remember Noah's Mini Cooper my dad and stepmom got him for Christmas? Well, our driveway isn't really ideal, since it's kind of short and goes to the road. I decided to take it over to my dad's and let Noah test drive it there.
He really liked riding around in it, but he hasn't quite gotten the hang of steering yet. He knows how to make it stop and go, but he's rather go hands-free and chill as he cruises.
Cracked us up.

Happy Monday (and MLK Day)!

July 4th-ish Fun

Our July 4th didn't quite go as planned, unfortunately.
I ended up catching Noah's tummy bug Tuesday night (which is my excuse for being so quiet this week). I was hoping after a few days, I was in the clear, but obviously not. And while I was so bummed about missing out on July 4th fun, I was really bummed that I had to miss out on Noah's first OT appointment that morning. Brad took this week off from work for his birthday and the 4th, so he (and our nephew Kalyb who spent the night with us) went with Noah (more on all that later). The only plus side is that I finally made my way back into the 120's. Now if I can just live off of Saltines and Gatorade for the next few days, maybe I can keep it that way. ;)

Thankfully, we had gotten our fill of cookouts, festivals, and fireworks over the weekend. In case you were hiding under a rock last week, you know our area was hit with an insane heat wave. I don't ever remember it being this hot before. Stepping outside was like hitting a big wall of heat. The highest temp I saw on our car was 110 (and that was while driving, not just sitting in the sun). Sunday morning, it was already 93 at 9am. Ridiculous.
Anyway, our little town threw a big July 4th party over the weekend, complete with fireworks on Friday and Sunday.
Friday night, we headed to the festival after it cooled down to a reasonable 95 degrees. :)
The place was packed. I didn't even know we had that many people in our area!

The streets were filled with music, dancing, and lots and lots of people.
One of my friends from high school was in town visiting, so we met up. I hadn't seen her since our reunion, and I'd never met her older two babies. So that was fun. :)

I was so impressed with the fireworks!
We got the best view, and Noah LOVED them.

Saturday, we decided to go visit my grandmother (Mom's mom). She lives almost an hour away from us, so we don't get to see her as often. My little brother came with us, and we made a night of it. I know it made her happy to have all of us there. It was one of those really perfect evenings where nothing was really planned. The guys helped her in the yard, Noah played with the hose, and we just had a lazy summer day.

(Noah found my brother's dog tags. Noah looooves his Uncle Harrison)

(Noah has loved her wind chimes since he was tiny)

After getting completely soaked, we let Noah have a taste of real summertime freedom. :)

Once we got his clothes dry, we headed on over to the local rodeo/festival they were having. It was really crowded, but we found a perfect spot on the side of the road to park, next to the field they were shooting the fireworks off from.

And just when you thought we'd gotten enough of fireworks?

We turned around and did it again on Sunday. Our nephew Kalyb joined us, along with my brother and his girlfriend.

So even though I didn't get to join in the fun on the actual 4th, I'd say I still got plenty of celebrating in.

***

As for the July 4th plague, I'm feeling much better, but now Brad has it. It always worries me a little when Brad gets these things. His immune system isn't as tough as it should be, but so far, he seems to be okay. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a ton of laundry and Lysoling to get to. ;)

Monday Musings

Sorry for the silence last week.

It's not that I don't want to blog. It's just that there's really not much to write about. Turns out the ol' blog is suffering from the post-holiday letdown too.

Really.
Our days consist of wake up, breakfast, play outside, watch Baby Einstein, nap, go to grocery store, play, dinner, bath, Baby Einstein/George, story time, and bed. Maybe with a little cookie-baking thrown in there.
But in a sad effort to blog about something... here's some complete randomness for your Monday:

Feeding the birds.
This was more of an attempt to do something crafty with the boy, but he wasn't the least bit interested. So while he ran around, I globbed peanut butter and seeds onto pine cones. Turns out? Watching these birds enjoy my little project made me happy!

(chickadees are my favorite)

We have a family of sparrows living in our bushes, and I think we've made their home permanent now.
As long as there aren't any mockingbirds or geese involved, I'm cool with this arrangement (because seriously, those things are mean...).

***

Playtime Bits & Pieces.

Like I said, we've been going outside a lot lately, since the weather has been so amazing.
The pups are loving it too. Have I ever mentioned how weird Flash is with his snacking?
The dog will eat anything.
Dodger has to sniff everything before he trusts what you're giving him. Even obvious stuff like chicken. But Flash? Well, he has a pile of goodies in the back yard... from our garden.
We had some leftover carrots we didn't use, and guess who's been gnawing on them?

Yep. He's such a weirdo.

We also got to fit in some cousin playtime. I could just eat this little guy up. Such a cutie.

While I'm really craving some snow, I'm trying to be thankful for how nice it is at the moment. Last year, we were blessed with snow on Christmas. Not sure when or if that will ever happen again.
But still. The warmer temps are convenient for taking Noah out. I don't really enjoy the bitter cold unless it's going to snow.

***

PSA.
This happens to me quite often actually. It seems there's a general misunderstanding among the U.S. population... at least the ones who shop at places like Target or WallyWorld.
So please, people.
Wait until I've completed my transaction before invading my personal space with your buggy. If I haven't paid yet, it makes it very difficult to do so with you standing right in front of the credit/debit swiper-thingy. And really, it's just rude. Trying to bulldoze me out of the checkout lane isn't going to make the process go any faster. In fact, it's just going to make things awkward. So yeah. Please just wait your turn. I don't have a million coupons, and I know how to use the transaction thingy (just don't know what they're called, obviously). Give me some space, and it won't take long. 


***

Running.
Still doing it. Sort of. Ever since I got sick over New Years, it's taken me this long to get over my cold. I still sound all nasal-y, but I'm almost all better. Which is good, because I was really on a roll before. One day, I actually went 6 miles. That's probably not much for all you avid runners out there, but for this girl? You might as well have given me a medal. That's huge for me.
And then I proceeded to use a walker for the next few days...

***

Which leads me to...
Weight Watchers.
Yep. I joined.
I decided it was time to just bite the bullet and admit this last bit of weight wasn't going to come off without some sort of outside help. I have so many friends that have had success with the program and look phenomenal now. I guess it was only a matter of time before I caved to the peer pressure. And honestly, I'd forgotten how I used to eat before I was pregnant! I ate like a bird!
See, I'm technically right in the middle of my "healthy weight range". So in order to lose weight, they've given me the bare minimum of points. At least I hope so. Basically it's the "Eat Healthy or Starve" plan. If I don't lose anything this time? There's something really wrong with me. It's really not bad, though. It's made me realize how much crap I'd been eating and how little fruits and veggies I'd actually been consuming. I thought I was doing fine, but apparently not. You wouldn't believe how many points just everyday little things I'd been eating are. Anyway, it's only been about 4 days, so I have to wait a bit for any real results. Also, it might help if I owned a scale...

via

Happy Monday!
xoxo.

one of "those" people

Something came over me over the Thanksgiving holiday. Maybe it was stress? Desperation? Temporary insanity? Whatever it was, it turned out to be pretty darn awesome.
I've mentioned a couple of times on here how I loathe running. Like, never ever have I enjoyed it. As a kid, I was always one of the last to finish the mile run (do they even still do fitness tests in school??). It wasn't because I was really unhealthy... in fact, I was a total twig and very active. But I hated every minute of the run. I wasn't fast, it was hot, and I just wanted it to end already. With those kinds of memories, there was no way I was going to do that voluntarily.

Then this past summer, I decided to give it a whirl and for about 4 weeks, I ran on and off. The furthest I think I went was maybe 2 miles? And even that included short walking breaks. Told you I'm pathetic.
But because I had so much going on last week, I found myself craving a good workout. I was sick of working out in my living room. The P90x routine is great, but I like to listen to my iPod, and then I end up missing critical moves (which is really a pain when you're stuck in some kind of weird yoga pose and can't see the tv). We had the treadmill folded up in our living room (not my favorite place for it), but I was always worried I'd wake Noah up during his nap if I used it. Since we had people coming over, Brad and I moved it out to the garage.
So Wednesday, the day before Thanksgiving... after I had done the grocery shopping and a ton of cooking... I randomly decided to give running another go. I told myself I'd just hop on and run for as long as I wanted. Once I was tired, I'd quit... keeping in mind that I refused to look at the numbers. Whenever I look at the numbers, my brain starts whining. There's plenty of "UGH! I've only gone ONE MILE?? When is this going to END???" happening. So instead, I listened to my music, focused my eyes straight ahead, and went for it. I wasn't worried I'd wake up Noah. The garage was cool and comfortable. And before I knew it? I had run a 5K. Cold turkey.

via

Y'all, I don't run 5K's. Except, now I do? Because since then, I've run two more (in fact, yesterday's run was 4.5 miles). No, it hasn't been a breeze, and I'm certainly not going to break any time records. I mentally struggle up to about mile 2. After that, I figure I've already gone this far, I might as well just keep going. Now... call me crazy (go ahead)... but I look forward to it.

The best part? I can feel my legs getting stronger, my butt getting tighter (because let's face it, it's never going to be small... I just have to embrace the booty), and my abs trying to fight their way back. Who knows. I may have finally officially become one of "those" people. A runner.

via

Thanks to my friends  Lori, Susan, Katie, Anna, Meghan, and many others who have inspired me to keep going. Their dedication is amazing, and I hope I can keep it up too!

Fiddlyfart in Photos

This is my 500th post! Woohoo!

***

Our A/C stopped working this morning. The brand new unit that we just had installed a couple months ago? Yeah, that one. We normally keep our A/C set at 72 (which is mostly Brad's doing; my mom used to keep it at 68, so it took me awhile to get used to). By noon, it was at 77.
I immediately called up my dad. The guy who works with him installed our unit, so I was hoping there was an easy, over-the-phone fix. I checked the breakers, checked underneath the unit in the attic for water, and all other kinds of things. Somehow the power wasn't connecting right. The fan wouldn't even turn on. My dad told me the guy could come out tomorrow, but he was booked all day today. Great.
My stepdad happens to be an electrician, so I figured if it was power-related, maybe he could think of something. So I called him up and started to explain the situation. And by some sudden miracle... the A/C switched on. ???
Brad called him again later, just to see if $100 would magically show up in our account. No such luck. But at least we're not roasting.

***

I guess y'all have heard we're expecting a visit from Ms. Irene this week. Really, it's not supposed to hit our area (of course, that's what they said about Hugo). But Brad immediately informed me last night that we are "not at all prepared!" and we don't have any backup supplies and blahblahblah. I calmly proceeded to show him all of the non-perishables we have that would easily last us a few days. Plus, I don't see the Apocalypse happening this week. I could always be wrong, but I'm just not seeing it. Who knows though. We've already had earthquakes. I'm sure it seems perfectly rational to most people. However, for me? It's nothing short of comical when my husband comes home with 9 gallons of purified water and a bunch of brand new flashlights (because again, it's not supposed to hit us). It's especially comical when you inform him that you had indeed asked to buy purified water months ago, because really, you don't like drinking the tap water in this county anyway.
(notgonnasayItoldyouso)

***

Sunday night we had our monthly shindig at the grandparents' house. We were celebrating all of the August birthdays (Noah, my brother, my uncle, and cousin-in-law). And of course Noah decided to boycott sleep that day. He fell asleep that morning in the car for about 15 minutes, then was wide awake for the rest of the day. I tried multiple times to get him to go down (all afternoon, in fact) to no avail. So wouldn't you know it? At 5:45, he zonked out in the car. The party started at 6. So what did we do? We kept the car running in the driveway (don't worry, he was still strapped in his car seat) and kept checking on him every 5 minutes. Actually, we all took turns... aunts, uncles, grandparents. Finally, I got him up around 7, and he was soooooo not happy with me. But I didn't really feel like going to bed at 2am. Sorry, buddy. Next time take a nap at a normal time, k?

I made Noah's cake (chocolate with cream cheese frosting) and then attempted to decorate it myself. I actually did take a cake decorating class when I was 8/9 months pregnant and still have all the tools. But for some reason, I thought I'd try the can frosting that comes with its own little tools for this. I just wasn't in the mood to make a ton of homemade frosting. Big mistake. This can was so tempermental. Next time I'll do it the right way. Of course, Noah didn't care, as long as he got to eat it. And thank goodness for the George topper, because otherwise? It looked like a St Patty's Day cake. I wanted to put fruit snack bananas or something on it, but it didn't happen in time. Oh well.

I secretly look forward to the August birthdays. My uncle's favorite dessert is my MamMaw's banana pudding, which I also happen to be a fan of. I guess I shouldn't be shocked that I didn't lose as much weight this week, huh?

Noah ended up being extra clingy to me all night. He wanted me to hold him when everyone sang "Happy Birthday". He wanted me to sit next to him at the table. And he wanted me to hold him while opening presents. Not gonna lie... I kind of liked it. He's too busy most times to just let me hold him, so I took advantage.

He still is confused when people start singing to him.
(and look! *gasp* I do exist! With Noah wanting me all night, Brad was in charge of the picture taking instead)

He practiced blowing out the candles right before,

but once the singing started, he kind of forgot about it.

And then he just got annoyed and wanted to be put down.

His baby cousin Easton (who is 10 months old) just thinks Noah is just the coolest. Easton is SO close to walking, but not quite there. When Noah runs circles around him, he just giggles and thinks it's hilarious. I remember when Noah was that little and thought his cousins running around was hilarious. Crazy to see how much changes in such a short amount of time.
Once Easton catches up to Noah, he likes to pull up on him, so he can stand just like him. It freaks the crap out of Noah. And it's pretty darn funny.

But I think they're going to be good buddies.

***

Last week, we had a little going away party for our friend Shante. She, her husband, and little Jack were only here for the summer, but it was fun getting to know them. I hate they had to leave, since it was nice for Noah to have another boy around. He helped even out all that estrogen flyin' around.

Alice and Jack...

Jess and Shante...

(crossing my fingers that baby "zebra" waits until after Noah's party Saturday to show up)

Me and Shante...

Wanna know what was going on during these pictures??

***

Noah drew his first piece of artwork last night! One of the gifts he got for his birthday (from Easton, actually) was a bunch of washable markers and paint (thank you Lord for washable...), and lots of paper. Because Noah totally screwed up his schedule (again), I was hurting for ideas to calm him down and still occupy him. I had to literally force him to sit down long enough for me to show him, but once he focused? He was SO into it.

I mean. Look at the concentration.

He takes his work very seriously.

Last night's final product:

Which of course went on the fridge, next to Brad's Target name badges that say "Special Brad", "Loser", and "BoomBoomBoom" (along with pics of us at the beach, at prom, the pups, etc).

***

I've officially been doing the Weight Watchers thing for 2 weeks now. I've lost 5 lbs, which I know doesn't sound like a lot. But I'm this close to my goal weight, so at this point? I'm doing the happy dance with any kind of weight loss.

The hardest part is that I'm at their lowest point allowance possible. So I find myself staaarving by the time breakfast/lunch/dinner rolls around. But it definitely makes you think about what you're putting in your mouth and just how much. Gotta make those points last! :)

***

Hope everyone's having a great week!

xoxo.