Amazon

A couple of weeks ago, Brad was contacted by a recruiter from Amazon Corporate (not the distribution side). Apparently they're looking for someone who does his exact job... in Seattle. When he first told me, I of course laughed and was like, "We're not going to Seattle..." I figured it wouldn't hurt to do the interviews, because no way was this happening.

Well, he's officially in the final round of interviewing. They'll be flying him out to Seattle in a couple weeks to interview in person. I'm both incredibly excited and heartbroken. We broke the news to my parents first, because we knew they would need time to process. Last weekend, we went to see Mammaw and Granddaddy and tell them. They of course don't want to see us go. It was so cute, when we told them, Granddaddy said he'd read an article about the best places to retire. Alaska was at the top, then Florida, and South Carolina. He flipped through the magazine and found it. He looked and declared that Washington was number 50. Lol!

We told them our reasoning for considering it. That Noah will be with us for the rest of our lives, and while we don't see him as a burden, we do need to be financially prepared. In the event that something happens to either of us, and he has to live with another family member, we want to make sure they're financially taken care of. This could be the possibility if we stay with Amazon for 3-5 years. So this doesn't have to be a forever move, just a right now move. As we were telling them goodbye, the image of them standing there will forever be burned in my memory. Granddaddy told us, "Above all else, you have to do what's best for your family. Don't let us be a part of that. We'll be alright." Mammaw agreed and said, "We'll just be praying for God's will to be done." I told her that was the part that scares me. Lol. Later that night, I was in the bathroom with Brad while he was in the shower, discussing my business and how we'd start things back up there. All I could hear were Granddaddy's words. I walked out and burst into tears. I know there's a possibility I may not see him again if we move. Praise God for heaven, because there would be no consoling me otherwise. But he's right. That's the part I can't argue with. They both are. Brad didn't go seeking this out, it came to him. I already know someone, a former client, who lives in that area. Her oldest even has autism. If Brad gets this job, we're going. It'll clearly be a God thing. But I'm really going to miss home. I was prepared to stay here forever. I was happy and comfortable. We were finally where we wanted to be in life. But sometimes God calls us out of our comfort. No way am I going to miss out on whatever He has planned for us.

My mom is sad but agrees with us. My dad is taking it the hardest I think. He's really going to miss us, and we're going to miss him. We're going to go from seeing him at least four times a month to maybe four times a year.

It's going to be hard. But it'll also be a fun adventure. It'll be fun to start over in a new city with Brad. No obligations, no family pressures. Just us.

Changes

I wasn't sure it would ever happen, but we're officially out of our Brookstone Dr home and moved into Brad's family's home. We've taken over the two bedrooms upstairs and the bathroom. Kerri, Kalyb, Robert, Annah, and Skyler also live here in the other rooms. It's a bit tight, but funny enough, we've had the best time so far. I'm not as lonely as I used to be. I have family to talk to, do puzzles with, and love on my babies. But we have our own space too, so I get to retreat when I need to. Thankfully both the boys have transitioned pretty well. Hayden has his own twin bed in our room, while Noah has his own room that we've also designated their playroom. 

Noah is doing so so well all around. His verbal skills are getting even better, his fine motor skills are improving, and his temperament hasn't been too bad considering all the changes going on. He still loves his tickles, and we're on a strict sensory diet with him, which has helped a lot. He likes us to be with him at night when he goes to bed, but I think that's normal for any kid his age, especially after a big move. He did have a moment our last day at the old house where he realized what was happening. He cried a lot, then perked back up and has been fine since. He hasn't even asked to go back. I think he enjoys being here with so much family. 

He lost his other tooth a couple days ago, and I think he looks adorable. 

Hayden is still an absolute sweetheart. His joyful personality, big smile, and even bigger heart makes me want to eat him. He's the most gorgeous toddler I've ever seen. He asks for "cancakes" every morning and also loves "annas", "pitz" (pizza), and apples. Every thing he asks for comes with a little hop and enthusiastic volume. :) He's a cuddlebug and loves to be close to me still, but he also allows me to love on Noah and Diana plenty. As long as he gets a little one on one time with me each day, he's totally fine. He's transitioned beautifully and loves having so many playmates around. He's still pretty small compared to Noah, but he makes up for it in personality. 

Diana is our beauty queen. She's the most precious baby girl ever. I adore her. Those dimples get us every time.

Six Months

Baby girl, you are growing way too fast for mommy. You are officially six months old and an absolute babydoll. Your big grin and bright blue eyes are, as your Granddad says, totally captivating. He actually tells you that almost every day.

This month, you've been working on learning to crawl. You're almost there! Beginning at five months, you were up on all fours, rocking back and forth. We're going to try solids soon, but as of right this second, you're still attached to me. You're pretty good at night, but you like to eat, which is obvious, because you've really chunked up these last couple weeks! Daddy calls you his little gremlin, because of the noises you make in the middle of the night trying to eat. You still will sleep in your rocker sometimes, but prefer to be right between me and your dad. I treasure every second of it.

You love to get everyone's attention and make anyone who holds you melt. Our favorite thing you do right now is gently touch our face and stare when we talk to you and kiss you, as if you're soaking in every word. Your smile lights up a room, and your squeals drive your brother Noah crazy. haha.

We love you so much sweet girl.

Hayden's walking!

Hayden walked for the first time last night!! We were upstairs... actually Brad had gone down to fetch the laundry... and Hayden let go and walked from the plaid chair to his Little People parking garage, a few steps away. I yelled for Brad to hurry and I was able to get him to do it again (with the help of his favorite HappyTot Puffs). :)

He's been so ready to walk for a couple months now, but he just couldn't muster up enough confidence. So proud of this little guy!

We also had his first speech evaluation last Monday with a new therapist named Lisa (same name as Noah's new therapist... Angie quit right after Hayden was born). It went pretty well. I'm not too concerned about autism just yet, but there's definitely a speech delay. So we're just being proactive about it.

He is still so so clingy with me. He's a very passionate kid. He loves me as fiercely as he fusses. Lol. He gives me the sweetest open mouth kisses. He HATES getting his diaper changed still. It's hilarious. He starts flailing his legs and whining.

Madison came home for Fall Break on Wednesday. We'll see her tomorrow at my mom's. We're doing everyone's birthday since July. Lol. It's been a busy few months.

Brad is playing in a golf tournament today. His new job still doesn't seem real some days. It's amazing and wonderful. We're doing so much better, and I think that has a lot to do with it.

Hayden Paul

So it's been a while. I actually really needed a break from this blog. I had become overwhelmed and sad by it actually. But I missed it.

I tried writing elsewhere, retreated to a private instagram and FB account, and it wasn't the same. This blog is a sort of home for me. It holds all of my sweetest memories of Noah, our journey, and some funny times in between. It makes me happy to write here. So I'm back. I will probably keep things simple. Just documenting our lives, hopefully sooner rather than later. I need the outlet, especially now.

A lot has changed since my last post.
We ended up adding another boy to our little family.

So without further adieu, here's his story...

***

Tuesday night, around 11:30, I started having pretty regular contractions. They were about 10 minutes apart, but they weren't really getting much worse. The funny thing is that it took me a while to figure out I was actually having contractions. It felt more like someone was sitting on my chest. There wasn't much pain involved, just a weird tightness. Since I was induced with Noah, the only real contractions I'd felt before were insanely intense (thanks Pitocin...). Our buddy Chase was on standby anyway, just in case we'd have to go to the hospital. I really hated the idea of making him drive to our house so late just for me to say, "Whoops, false alarm!" He was super sweet though, and he reassured me that it was better to be safe than sorry. Plus he'd rather spend the night than have to come at 3am. :)

We all stayed up late talking, while both the boys kept asking how I was doing. The contractions started to taper off, and I finally got comfortable enough to fall asleep around 3am.

And then I woke up at 6am. Contractions were back, and they were getting stronger. I still didn't want to go in for a false alarm, so we hung around the house for a little while. Brad ran to McD's for breakfast and grabbed me a plain biscuit. I'd told him I didn't want anything, but I'm glad he made me eat. I would've been starving by the time I got to eat again. We called my OB's office, and they told us to go ahead and go to the hospital. Turns out my Dr was already there, so she said she'd check me when we arrived.

So we headed to Charlotte... a new system took over called Novant, but everyone from here still calls the hospital "Presby Main" (the big Presbyterian hospital close to downtown... and well, if you're not from here, you'll call it "uptown" haha). Basically everyone in my family was a "Presby baby", so that's where my babies will all be born hopefully.

Anyways...

We got to the triage place, where the nurse got me in a gown, I peed in a cup, all that medical stuff. She checked me, and I was only at 1.5cm, which is where I was at my last OB appointment. I was a little disappointed. No way did I want to go all the way down there for nothing. She also told me my blood pressure was a little high and I had a little protein in my urine (I'd had pre-eclampsia with Noah and had been fine up to this point with this baby). She suggested we spend the next little while walking around the hospital. If it really was labor, I'd progress. If not, the contractions would stop, and I'd get to go home.

So Brad and I walked the halls for a good two hours, stopping once for her to check me. I wanted to check out the nursery... you know, give me some motivation... but turns out, the nursery doesn't really exist there anymore. They now require all babies to room in with the parents, unless there's a legit reason they need to put the baby under observation of course. I love the new procedure, but I was still a little bummed not to see all the sweet babies lined up in their plastic cribs. After the second hour, I was feeling ridiculous. And frankly, I looked ridiculous. I was wrapped in two hospital gowns wearing my tennis shoes. Least unattractive outfit ever. I told Brad we were probably going to get sent home, and I felt like we'd wasted all that time. We came back to the room, and my OB followed us in shortly after. She checked me and cheerfully responded, "You're a 3!"

The triage nurse looked pretty shocked... I think she thought we'd be going home too. They prepped a room for me and got me moved pretty quickly. We spent the next couple hours in the L&D room just relaxing (well, sort of...). Lots of Farm Heroes Saga, instagram, etc. Smartphones should've been invented for this purpose alone a long time ago. Perfect distraction! Brad napped a little, and I chatted with my nurse. She was so amazing.

My OB came in a couple hours later to check on me. I hadn't progressed any, so she decided to go ahead and break my water for me. And of course, that got things moving fast! Right after she did that, they went ahead and got my epi put in. Somehow I think I ended up with every top doctor and nurse that night. He was the head of the anesthesiology department. Also, my OB was named among the top 20 most influential women in Charlotte not long ago. I really lucked out.

Anyway, after my water was broken, things really picked up. After that miscarriage over a year ago, I realized how fragile these little unborn lives can be. Every visit at the OB, I would pray for a heartbeat. My heart would fall in my stomach if it took her a minute to find his heartbeat. So when my contractions got stronger, and his heart rate would drop in response, I immediately began worrying and praying. Brad assured me he was okay, just to breathe and get plenty of oxygen to him. So I did. Unfortunately it wasn't enough though. The nurse and my OB weren't concerned, although they did continue to monitor it closely. But I was nervous. As his heart rate dipped dangerously low a few times, they decided to put me on oxygen. It definitely helped, which allowed me to relax some (as much as one can relax in active labor...). Both my nurse and OB were amazingly calm and reassuring through the whole thing.  Brad was awesome and talked me out of a panic attack as well. :)

I think it may have been about 45 minutes between when she broke my water and when it was time to push. He was definitely ready to meet us! It only took like 3 or 4 pushes, and he was here. Beautiful and perfect.

And my OB knows me too well. As soon as I had him, and she told me he was beautiful, her next words were, "You're skinny again!" hahaha.

Because Noah had a rough birth experience, I didn't get to hold him immediately. This time, they didn't hesitate to hand my baby to me. It really does make a difference. It took a few days for me to feel bonded to Noah, if I'm being perfectly honest. We didn't get to do immediate skin to skin, nor was I able to breastfeed. So to have this experience was absolutely amazing.

And with that, I'd like to introduce you to Hayden Paul.
Hayden, because we're 80's/90's kids and watched a million Coach episodes while I was pregnant. And Paul after Paul McCartney. ;)

The stats:

Born at 7:51pm

Weihjed 7 lbs 5.5 oz

Length 21"

So What Wednesday

It's been awhile, but why not? Linking up with Shannon for "So What Wednesday"!

So what if...

- I used to think it was weird when parents would put pictures of their kids as their FB profile picture. Like they didn't have their own identity anymore. Now that I have a kid, I get it.

- I almost stopped blogging because of this constant feeling of being watched/judged/criticized... then I figured, it makes me happy. I've been blogging since college (before I knew that's what it was called) and keeping private diaries since I was a kid. I don't plan to stop anytime soon. I love the friends I've made through the blog world, and I definitely don't want to lose them. If people don't like what I post, there's a little X readily available at the top right of their screen.

- I had a moment of weakness during a particularly rough week last week and ate half a tub of Nutella. Straight out of the carton, with a spoon. I also was embarrassed and hid it from my husband in the back of the pantry behind the bag of ground flaxseed (which I probably should used instead...). I'm not proud.

- I could never go full-on Paleo. I live in the South... butter is in e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g. I've been trying to apply the lifestyle as much as possible at home, but there's no way I'd be able to do it 24/7. Not in the land of Paula Deen and my MamMaw's cheese potato casserole. ;)

- I'm a big fat liar when it comes to limiting the amount of pictures I give clients in my photography packages. I get too excited and end up giving them more than what's listed. Maybe not a particularly smart business move, but I can't help myself. I've been lucky to have some awesome clients. Maybe if I ever get a big meanie one day, I'll stick to my guns.

- I'm kind of excited that the school year is almost over. It means no more driving Noah to therapy almost every day. He'll still be going once a week to the one we pay for. It's not like it even lasts that long. I'm just a hermit and would rather spend all day playing with my kid at home or the park or something than sitting in an office with a bunch of germy kids (seriously, we've been sick more this year than the last 4 years combined).

- I've been letting my kid go commando in our back yard almost every day lately. He doesn't like to be nakey indoors, but outdoors? He can't get those pesky swim trunks off fast enough. :) Thankfully, we have a big privacy fence, lots of sunscreen, and an umbrella.

Lately (with an 8 second clip of Noah singing!)

I've been so overwhelmed lately. It's not really just one thing either. It's lots of little things that have piled up and are making me feel like crawling into a corner and crying. Or inhaling an entire gallon of ice cream (which is why I haven't bought any...).
And I feel like I'm going to let somebody down. No one in particular. It just seems inevitable. If I focus on getting one thing done? Something else is going to suffer. For example, I'm doing pretty well trying to keep up with my business stuff. Photos are edited ahead of schedule, and I'm in the process of rebranding (which is stressful enough in and of itself...). But my house? Yeah, it looks like a family of 15 just ate at my house... then tried flushing an entire roll of toilet paper. And spilled veggie smoothie all over me. And picked at blue chalk, so there are little chalk bits on the floor. Oh, and the 15 people also decided to have a party all night long. Except those 15 people? They happen to be one toddler.

I just feel like there's not enough of me to go around.
I need like 3 more me's to make my life work out a little more smoothly (can I get an "Amen", mommas?!).

Noah had his IEP meeting Monday, and it went well. It's very laid back compared to what I've heard most meetings are like. His speech therapist wasn't even there for it. But I was happy with it overall. I think they sort of get a decent idea of where he's at. However, they're only with him for 30 minutes a week, so they don't get to see all of the successes we have at home. While I was there, I had Noah say his little phrases like, "Oh no, George!" and sing songs for them. They were stunned.

Seriously, where he is at this year compared to last year at this time? It's like having a completely different kid. He no longer lives like he's just existing in his own world, but he's present. He gives us spontaneous hugs and kisses. If I give him a choice between milk or water, he'll answer, "wa wa". If I give him simple directions, he's following them (for the most part... he IS still a toddler, after all. ha). He's added like 20 new words to his vocabulary in the last few weeks. I'm still waiting for "Ma-ma" to surface again. :)

Seeing as how the words are starting to come, we've decided to pay for private speech therapy, especially since school will be out soon. After next week, he wouldn't be getting anything until September. So after his IEP meeting, we had to run to the same place where his OT is at for a speech evaluation. Because he was sleep deprived, he wasn't quite on his A-game. But she did get a "ready, set, go!" out of him. :) I'm really excited about it, because she uses sensory integration as part of her speech therapy, which is perfect for him.

So that's where I've been. Add in a hospital visit for Brad a couple weeks ago (he's okay!), a much needed girls' night, Mother's Day, and Noah's sleep getting all messed up again... and well, that's why I haven't been blogging. Dude, I haven't even been reading blogs. I've missed my blog buds. :)

Hopefully I'll be back before another 2 weeks passes by.
And with that, I'll leave you with a quickie video of Noah singing. The song is from Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood (which, fyi, has been a total gift from God... his speech, social skills, and self-care skills have totally blossomed because of this show).

It goes, "I like you, I like you, I like you.... (then Noah finishes) Just the way you are!"